Sound of Silence

The Temple of Daeus Complex. Cryosanthia's recovery room.

Time has passed. Cryo packed up, then stayed put as requested. There was a distant commotion, then silence. Seyardu left, having many things calling for her attention. The whitescale and pinkscale waited, unpacked enough to play some backgammon.

Slept, ate. She thought about leaving a note and going but decided to give her cihuaa some more time and wait for the all clear. As much as she might want to help sort out a mess, she has no scales in the game so to speak and a little white dragon, even a well dressed one, adding to the mix probably wouldn't help.

There's a light knock on the door, and then hesitantly Zeke enters. He holds the door a moment for the man who follows him inside, before closing the door behind them both. Initially, Zeke's eyes go around the room with some nervousness and then land on Lily. Regret and sorrow pass across his face like clouds and vanish before he looks at Cryosanthia. "Thiss one would ssshare wordsss with you Cryosssanthia."

He sighs softly and looks at her finally. "Thisss one hasss not been good about sssharing wordsss, but thisss one thinksss that the topic isss... not a good one to sshare with Lily in the room. Perhapsss ssshe would like to go to the kitchensss for a ssnack?"

Seldan steps in behind Zeke, seemingly attired in his usual shirt, belted trousers, and robe over top, with low black boots on his feet, a silver headband that is thicker than his usual choice holding his hair out of his eyes. The whole affair appears loose and comfortable, with Reunion on his hip being the only obvious martial sign.

He assumes a parade-rest posture, once the door has closed behind him, typical of a Seldan who is watchful, and waiting, or in protector mode. "Yes, perhaps while she is in the kitchens, she may be able to help."

Lily looks up at her Ssassa. Cryosanthia strokes carefully down her back, holding her to her side, she looks at Zeke, "So it's safe then, to go outside?"

It seems so. She nods, "We'll be moving after this Little Fang, so get as much food as you want from the kitchens. Okay."

The little kobold bobs her head and jumps down, moving carefully around Zeke and then the other way around Seldan, to exit out the door, sprinting once she's outside.

Cryosanthia remains sitting on the bed, crouched with her legs folded, her feet pulled under her and her back leaning against the wall. She's wearing the same shirt and skirt from before, which makes sense, she only has one. "Peace on your Nest, Seldan. Hello Reunion. This one is ready to listen and share words Zeke. It didn't sound like your mission went well."

Zeke watches Lily go, and only speaks once she is gone and the door is securely closed behind her. "The one that thisss one wasss awaiting isss dead. He died in transssit to the temple." He shakes his head with bitter regret, then sighs and looks at Cryosanthia. "Though it iss not of the man that thisss one wissshesss to sshare wordsss with you. Thisss one inssstead musst know... Do you think that thisss one isss... weak? Do you think that the wordsss you ssspoke to thisss onesss nesst-mother are true? Becausess if you did not think them true, then thisss one can not imagine why you would sssay them."

For now, Seldan holds his peace, remaining exactly where he is, looking between the two of them. He seems to be waiting for something, but what is not clear.

"That's unfortunate." He was someone important to Aya, is the extent of her knowledge of the situation. There are troubling implications but not emotional connections. She nods upon hearing the information, looks at Seldan in case more is forthcoming.

Then listens.

"What? Of course not Zeke. You're incredibly strong, after what She put you through, us through. After what you did ... too... because... with Him." Her first foundling remains a difficult subject for her, many feelings are locked away in that iceberg. She does not want to chip it. "When you returned you were amazing! So powerful and confident. This one still has no idea what you were up to but the transformation was astounding. You even stood up to your mother, you've never done that. You're not weak. You're not strong-strong, like a huge jotun, you have strength in your character."

It's only half answering what he asked. She exhales, fiddles with her clothes with oversized hands, that are awkward. "This one has no idea what is wrong with your Nest-Mother. This one threw everything she could think of at her in accusation to try and find out what she hides, what is buried, what her problem is."

"Ssso you threw liesss at her? You threw hurtful, mean thingsss at thisss onesss nessst-mother?" Zeke tilts his head, utterly confused. He holds his claws together, his expression and his scent filled with confusion. "Thisss one /knowsss/ what isss wrong with her. Hasss known for yearsss. You could have asssked thisss one. Thisss one iss a healer Cryosssanthia, but you sssaid... Thosse /thingsss/." He is at a loss for words.

Finally, Seldan speaks, his demeanor that cool, polite reserve, not quite the alabaster pillar that he becomes when he is angry or uncomfortable, merely - reserved. "Words are weapons, Cryosanthia, and must be wielded with equal care. In wielding them, one must consider who else stands by, and that a strike meant for one lands not on the body of another. In your seeking of the truth behind his nest-mother, you have inadvertently struck your cihuaa to his heart, opening a wound that will be long in the healing."

"This one is Speaker and well aware of words." Cryosanthia answers, looking at Seldan, "There are things I should never have to ask, and am not sure I want to know. Brae asked me if I wanted to know how Lily died, what happened to her. How she was gone, why she was gone."

The whitescale blinks slowly, looks at her right hand, "No, that was a dream. Still she asked and I said no, I didn't want to know. You never asked me, Seldan about..." she glances at Zeke, "... if I wanted to know what happened. And I don't. It won't change anything."

"But you keep secrets, you both keep secrets from me and this one trusts you that there's a good reason. Zeke did not wish to speak about Nonantzine, this one did not wish to dig and pry and cause wounds."

"Then I cause them anyhow." Cryo curls her tail around her ankles and pulls the end of it up where she can hold it with both hands. "I'm sorry Zeke. They weren't lies, they were ignorance. I don't know what Salina did to you after you were left alone, I don't know what Seldan and Malik did to heal you, or what I should avoid speaking of, beyond what I guessed at and saw from your behaviour and when you returned. I don't know what you did for the year you were away, and I don't know what's wrong with your mother."

"I know what I saw and she told me when you fled the room." Cryo says, then finally asks something, "So what is wrong with her and how is it fixed?"

"You are right. Thisss one never told you. All of thessse thingsss, they were painful for thisss one. Sssalina wasss painful, leaving, and the truth of thisss onesss nessst mother. But thisss one thought you did not care. That you did not /want/ to know." Zeke lowers his head a moment, as if he will fall into old habits and retreat into himself but he instead takes a breath and draws himself to his full height.

"Thisss one would have told you. Would have ssshared wordsss with you, but... Thisss one wasss afraid, and it wasss eassier to wait for you to care." He looks at her. "One can not 'fix' thisss onesss nessst mother Cryosssanthia. Ssshe isss sssick in her mind, and until ssshe wants to be well, until sshe admitsss that sssome-thing isss wrong... ssshe will alwaysss be sssso."

"Are you?" Seldan's tone chills, his stance stiffens, just a little, although he has not moved. "Then do you wield them so carelessly out of a desire to wound? When you wield a blade, do you not do so that a bystander not be struck? Why would you do differently with words, a weapon that leaves wounds that Her grace cannot touch?"

"Perhaps, then, you might have asked these things, Cryosanthia. For I shall tell you now. The sole thing that was done was to allow him to dictate what he needed, and provide it, in his time, when he was ready. To return him to the present, and to allow him the space to find himself. No more was done than that. A simple fishing trip, to allow him to hunt his own food, that he might know what it was that he ate, a thing that he had touched, watched cooked before him. A simple thing, and yet one that none before had attempted, not -" He looks down, and bites off the rest of the sentence with a deep breath. "Forgive me, I overstep myself. You need but have asked."

"But you know." Cryo emphasizes with her hands, tilting forward then having to support herself with them. She looks more like a cat sitting up, in a dress, than her normal self. Her attention focused on Seldan, her horns emphasizing the aim of her face, like a huge arrow head. "I don't understand why you don't understand me better. You _saw_ all my memories, both of you. Eighty years. I'm at least three times older than you Seldan, it's a wonder you don't wake up thinking you're a girl with a tail. How do you... not know how I think? Knowing them?"

"Were they forgotten, ignored, vanished swiftly? There are things I still can't look at, I understand." Her pupils have spread wider, becoming black bands. "I care, of course I care. Why would I not care. I offered Zeke fruit, suggested he create..." She shakes her head, "it doesn't matter. You succeeded. I failed. This one is not a healer. Thank you for telling me the method."

She pushes herself back, catches her tail again and hugs it. She snorts slightly, almost a laugh, "you've seen me fight and wonder why I flail about with words too. I'm sorry Zeke, I am."

"It was not lack of concern. It was worry, that I shared with you when you returned." Cryosanthia looks at Zeke once more, "That I would say or do something and you would go again. I gave you the distance I thought you needed. I thought there was more time, that Endless Winter, that Eclavdran, that your mother, would stay in the past and what this one needed to know about them was nothing. That it would come up when we were both ready."

"And perhaps this one is not ready, but the luxury of waiting seems over." She closes her eyes, exhales, "what is to be done? Am I to kill her then, if she flies at Lily..." Her head shakes over and over.

Zeke looks at Seldan, shaking his head. "You have every right to sssshare wordss kin. You do remind thisss one, that onsce thisss one harmed you. Out of fear. Out of confusion and terror. That you raisssed thisss one from that fear, that you have allwaysss been kin to thisss one. For which thisss one isss grateful more than wordsss can expressss." He looks at Seldan and finally clasps the other man on his shoulder. "Sspeak freely kin. We promisssed it would be sssso."

This brings him to look at Cryosanthia, a slowly dawning horror on his features that drives him without words. Finally he hisses and then emits a low growl. "Thissss one would! If ssshe attacked any-one! Thisss one would defend them! Thisss one... Thisss one hass been bad, bad at defending thisss onesss sself, but if ssshe harmed one other than thisss one... Thisss one could not sstand idly by!"

Seldan stares uncomprehendingly at Cryosanthia, but when Zeke claps him on the shoulder, he turns to look up at the sith, and a smile tugs at his lips. "Even so did you remind me, and rightly." He draws a deep breath, then turns back to Cryosanthia, some of that icy coldness melt away. "Well do I remember the incident of which Zeke speaks, and from it may lessons be drawn. One who would be understood, must first seek to understand, and thus must one who would be heard must first listen. Zeke lashed out in terror that day, because all spoke, and none listened nor heeded."

He blinks slowly, but goes on. "As for your memories, they came to us as pictures only, pictures beyond number in an instant of time. To remember them all would be impossible, and even so does that not impart the workings of a mind very different from the human experience. You expect and presume on what cannot be. As for her ...."

"Yes. Did Seyardu not share her words with you? Tell the Silver Guard to strike me down? Those very words came from her lips, and do you care for her, you will do as she asks. She has given herself fully to Eclavdran, traded her soul for Lily's. It is in my mind that she is now his, and there lies for her but one escape."

Cryosanthia watches as the two men speak, to each other and to her. Her pupils get a little wider as she stares at Zeke. She remembers, what it must have taken to spare her from becoming a nest-mother that kills her own foundling. She can't, she must, prevent him from being a child that slays his own mother. "No Zeke, no, you must not."

She is then addressed by Seldan, nodding slowly, "well, they fit perfectly back in my mind with the oppressive weight of years, of course. I misjudged how well you would understand or receive them."

Followed by, "Wait, what? Seyardu didn't say anything. Are we talking about Aya or Nonantzine? Or Both?"

"I can't kill her Seldan." Cryo says firmly, staring directly at him, "I can't. This is not soft-heartedness. I can't physically do enough harm to Aya before she would kill me. She'd have to let me. At best I could stop her escaping while someone else does the damage."

"Why do you think I hang out with Braelnoir so much? She can kill things, when she can hit them."

"Both, thisss one thinksss." Zeke offers warily, and shakes his head. "Though it matters not much to thisss one. If either of them meanss harm to an innocent, thisss one would be forced to action. Thisss one might hessitate to harm thisss onesss nessst-mother, but sshe can not be allowed to harm any-one."

He looks at Cryosanthia. "It isss ssimilarly with Aya. Ssshe killed a man the other night Cryosssathia. If you sssee her, you mussst kill her, or flee. Thessse are the two optionsss which remain to usss. And ssshe hersself hasss assked uss the mercy of her death."

The blue-scale heaves a sigh. "All of which becomesss very far from the subject that thisss one came to ssspeak on." He looks at Cryossanthia. "Thisss one can not ignore that you have hurt thisss one. That you have tried to hurt another with your wordsss for the sssake of not undersstanding. Even if you did not know, you had to know that they were painful thingsss to ssay Cryossanthia. It meanss much to thisss one that you sssay sssorry, but your own actionsss ssuggesst that you will sssay sssorry to-day and do it again to-morrow."

"Forgive me, I misspoke. But, would you do what you would not have him do, that he bears not that burden? I recall once a burden borne for you." Seldan does not move, and does not flinch in the face of Cryosanthia's words, but at Zeke's reminder, turns his attention to the bluescale, and silences himself instead, listening.

"Both..." Cryosanthia says. There is more twisting of her tail tip. Her wings curl tighter against her back. She seems small for being so large, her head aims at the Silverguard.

So many things to say. One at a time Cryo.

"I'd like to hold them down and try to beat some sense into them. Aya. Nonantzine. Either, both. I wasn't planning on having tea with Aya, so run or fight if I see her is very likely to be what I do."

"As for your nest-mother..." Cryo exhales, doesn't inhale for a while, simply waits to feel the ache in her lungs and a need for air. She breathes in. "She was some degree of sane, once you left. She does not see how she hurts you, will not improve until she wants to. This one agrees. I could show her what I saw when she came in, perhaps the Egg-Watchers have a way to get through to her. There is more there than what you experience with her Zeke."

Another pause. The sensation of snow melting in her mind. "You are a lot like her, Zeke, stubborn, but in a different way. You want to control things. You are wiser, and smarter, and older but seem to forget I was a softscale when we met and still centuries younger than you. Youth is not an excuse but there are some things this one will only learn the hard way over time."

Cryo takes another long breath. "I am not a healer. I'm a Speaker who has to deal with unknowns that are hidden deliberately and a fighter that engages physically and has to deal with chaos up close, not at range. I have to trust my instincts and often react without thinking, before thinking. I get overwhelmed, I panic, and if I don't default to my favourite strategies I start grabbing at straws."

She looks at Seldan now, "Which worked, in the Sea. A different perspective. Seeing that staying in our ruts was what caused our other selves to fail."

"So, this one will be mindful of what will injure, Zeke. This one does not want to. But you are correct. This one hurts others without intention and likely will again. You. Seldan. Braelnoir." She exhales, "While that does not lead to the supporting argument I thought it was going to. I don't think I'm going to change fast enough for you, I don't know that I should. I'm not you and can't be you, I'm more like your mother and don't want to be. There's a lot of chaos in my mind and while I hide it well, I'm not well and I don't know what to do about it. I'm still piecing myself back together."

Zeke listens through what Cryosanthia is saying without a word. Listening is one of his strong points, and his endless patience serves him well when others have a need to share many words. "You are wrong Cryossanthia. Thisss one'sss nessst mother doesss not wax between sssanity and insssanity. Ssshe only sseemsss to." He shakes his head, uncertain how to explain the sickness of the mind that affects his forebearer. The rest... he is uncertain how to address. He looks at Seldan, hoping that his kin will have the words that fail him.

Lightning flashes in the ice-blue eyes of the ginger-blonde man, who to this point has not moved from his parade-rest stance. In fact, his very stillness has been telling, but now, he straightens, the first real movement he has made, pulling himself to his fullest height. "You are aware that you hurt those around you, and you say that you will continue to do it, that you do not feel that you should change that."

He reaches up and yanks the headband off of his head. The facade of simple, loose clothing melts away in an instant, and Seldan is suddenly not merely the man, but the paladin of Eluna, in full armor and gear that he so often wears in the city. "If you will not change so that you will stop hurting your friends, you are no friend. If you will not change so that you do not hurt your cihuaa, you are no fit cihuaa. If you will not change so that you do not hurt the innocent around you, then I am bound by my very vows to stop you, Cryosanthia. I have had enough of the selfishness of this city, and I tire of seeing those I care for hurt -"

A swift glance at Zeke. "I tire of being hurt through carelessness and selfishness, and I tire of seeing those I care for hurt through carelessness and selfishness. Do you expect him to endure slings and arrows, because you will not even try? I will not stand for it, and nor should he. If there is chaos in your mind, if you care for anyone besides yourself, then by Her holy path across the night sky, _control_ it. You are no child, to abdicate responsibility for your actions."

There are thoughts Cryo is sifting through, taking Zeke's warning to heart. Perhaps Nonantzine can't be fixed. Perhaps the progenitor bluescale's warnings are true too. Their eggs will be sour. Her nest will be ruined. She's gathering them when the full force of the Silverguard Paladin's words sweep it all away.

He is terrifying, the lightning, the icy ness of his gaze, his height. His pleasant demeanor ripped away, by choice, in his move to battle stance.

His judgement cuts deep.

She's stunned. Her first thoughts tumble out, "Reunion. Are you sure you're on the right hip?"

Then, "You do not listen. If you listen you do not understand. If you do you intentionally injure."

Cryosanthia moves, dropping to all fours, jumping to the floor. She stands, places a hand on the wall to keep her upright, walks, slowly. "Thank you for demonstrating me. This one is leaving now. This one will refrain from attacking anyone on the way out. If you feel the need to strike me down, this one granted you and Reunion that long ago."

To Zeke, she has no idea what to say to Zeke again. She is not a fit cihuaa.

"You... you do not underssstand Cryosssanthia..." Zeke looks at her with wide eyes and pleading claws. "He isss not being you, he isss trying to make you underssstand that you /can/ change..." Yet... was he invading her choice? Asking her to do something that she did not desire to? His claws fall and he realizes that there is nothing he can do, nothing he can say if that is the case. He makes no move to stop her passage to the door. He can't. This is her choice.

"When you see that the feelings and needs of someone besides yourself are important, then will you be a fit cihuaa to Zeke. You shall choose when that will be." Seldan does not move, and his bearing again becomes the alabaster pillar as he crosses his arms across his chest, stepping aside to allow the dragonlet to slink to the door. "Until then, I shall not aid you nor hear you, and do you act to the detriment of the innocent of Alexandria, I shall do as I must."

"REUNION WILL YOU PLEASE SPEAK UP!" Cryosanthia shouts, as she reaches the door. Hopefully a steel weapon will have no feelings to hurt.

A huff, an exhale, a recentering. A quiet explanation is offered. "This is why Braelnoir and I fly at each other."

She opens the door, hand to doorframe, to wall. She'll be able to slink all the way to the outside. "Change to what, Zeke? I am not a paladin. I hate this room. I will let you know where to send the blankets."

Her gaze turns to Seldan next. Names float to the fore. She does not say them, why argue whom she cares for. She knows. They know. "And so you turn your back on me. As you must."

"Seldan is right, Cryosanthia." Reunion speaks finally, in the nasally old woman voice that is Fallia. "You can't go around hurting people and expect them to just take it, or believe you when you say you're sorry and then do it again. Your hurt is no excuse for you to go hurting others."

Kanian, interestingly, is silent for once, but this time it's the young, hesitant man with the light voice who speaks up. "If I'd whined like that, I'd've gotten a hiding."

This time, Kanian does speak up. "You _did_ get a hiding, Zee, if I recall."

"Thisss one doess not expect a paladin for a cihuaa. Only one that would care enough to asssk 'what change would thiss one make'? One that would want to know what thisss one needsss." Zeke touches his claw to his chest. "Thiss one hass never asssked for any-thing from you Cryosssanthia. Nothing sssave thissss. And you deny thisss one with-out ever knowing what it isss that thisss one would asssk for."

He looks at her, steadies himself and speaks. "Thisss one desservess that. Thisss one desservesss care. You flee from thisss one, you run and refussse to sshare wordsss. Go, and we will be apart from one-another. Go. Do not insssult Ssseldan further by insssissting that he isss a demon."

Zeke glances toward Reunion and nods to the weapon. Perhaps now Cryosanthia will accept the truth. Perhaps.

"This one hasn't had a hiding?" Cryo asks the young, whining one in the blade. "Well this one is wrong. Again."

"This one feels ganged up upon." The whitescale says, with some bitterness. Two on one, six on one? How many in the blade. No matter.

"You ask for more patience than this one has, Zeke. You ask me to mind read." Cryo snaps, "I ask you what you want, how you are, at least I believe I do, then find to my surprise I've not done it the correct way."

"I asked what broke your mother. I asked what you need. Didn't I? I can't remember any more. What change do you want? What can I do to help? What do you need? More distance, more time, me to kill your mother?" Now the words come. Unfiltered and wild, with injury and panic. "This one tries to leave before she says more that will hurt unintentionally and you both still stab and criticize. This one needs out of here. This one wants her youngling and some space to dance, and think, and maybe a swim."

Her pupils have spread wide open, her eyes are black. "Yes this one flees. Next time come at me with claws and do not bring a Paladin who evokes Eluna's judgement in a mate dispute."

Scales. Maugrim mate it. Cryo drops to all fours and bounds away.

Zeke turns to Seldan and... Zeke can not cry. Can not shed tears as a human can, but it's there in his eyes. That he had begged her to stay and she had left him. Perhaps it is appropriate since he left her once. "Thisss one isss sssorry kin, that ssshe ssspoke to you ssso." He touches the other man on the shoulder. "Would you... Take thisss one home? To your home?"

There's a swirl of magic in reply to his request. No words. No need for them. They will share words later. For now, there is only silence in the Temple of Daeus.

The perfect sound of silence.

-End