Shared Trauma
Log Info
- Title: Shared Trauma
- Place: A10: Temple District
- Summary: Rune struggles with past trauma in the aftermath of facing down werewolves and horrific effigies during the rescue of Telamon.
For those who are connected within Alexandros, it would not have been difficult to learn that a small 'army' of Adventurers had set forth on a rescue mission at the call of Cor'lana Lupecyll-Atlon. The group had returned by means of a teleport spell, an unconscious form having been brought to the Temple of Eluna.
Rune had been among one of those returning, but she had not entered the Temple. She and the Sky-Singer have an uncomfortable relationship, but that doesn't mean that the rogue isn't nearby, standing vigil in hopes of hearing something about what may have befallen her friend.
At this moment, Rune is sitting beneath one of the trees that line the edges of the Temple grounds, as if she were uncertain about stepping further into it. There are weary circles beneath her eyes and an ominous splatter of dried crimson across her armor and part of her untattooed cheek. At the moment, she just seems to be watching, waiting to hear something, anything, perhaps.
How could one not know?
Though it was a wish for many to answer the call of mighty Cor'lana, only a select many were chosen to stride forth, with many more staying as reserve in case of emergency. Jacob Ben-Mezd was one such adventurer, who had elected to remain with the Temples in the event he may provide his services in case of severe injury. Yet he had not known what had happened.
The horrors they had suffered.
And yet, those unique eyes find Rune sitting beneath a tree, still wearing blood-stained armor and red-stain on her cheek. And though she may wait for he Goddess to speak to her, the footsteps easily heard by her half-sil ears are light of foot, but it is not Eluna that has come to visit her.
But instead, a servant of Serriel. "The day finds you in troubled spirits, I see." Jacob speaks softly, kneeling down beside her until he's seated right next to her. He looks her in the eyes, I afraid of what he might see.
"You've been through a long night, haven't you?"
There is a faint, instinctive twitch of one pointed ear at the approaching sound. Elven senses picking up on the movement despite the fact that Rune's mind is clearly elsewhere. In fact, she doesn't seem to respond to Jacob's approach at all until he is right in front of her. It's like she is looking through him rather than at him.
Then, her eyes shift and meet his. The pupils are too wide, a haunted look captured in just those blue eyes. She doesn't respond right away, as if her brain hasn't quite caught up with the current moment.
Rune blinks.
"Jacob?" It seems an odd question, and her brows furrow slightly. It's almost as if she were waking up, but... Rune had been awake and conscious the entire time, hadn't she? "I'm... yeah. I guess. Long night." There is hesitation in her voice. "You haven't seen anyone from the main party come out yet, have you?" She'd been staring towards the temple, but clearly Rune hadn't /really/ been seeing what was in front of her.
When Rune doesn't respond immediately?
It gets Jacob worried. Though the haunted look in her eyes was perhaps somewhat expecting considering she hadn't changed out of her armor or washed herself free of the blood. Even still, her eyes are glazed, like she's staring *through* him than at him. He opens his mouth as if to speak her name again, before that sign of alertness returns to her expression. He had heard that some races are able to 'trance' rather than sleep.
Was that what Rune was doing? Or was she so scarred by what she had seen that it felt as though she was completely elsewhere?
"Yes." Jacob remarks on being correctly identified, though he doesn't seem to mind that furrow of her brow. When she asks about the main party, he looks towards the temple, before he shakes his head. "I've seen no one leave." Jacob remarks. "Whom do you wait for? The party, or one among their number?" He positions himself to face her.
And if she allows? His hand will outstretch to touch hers, as if to provide a comfort to hold it.
"Rune, are you alright?"
Ever so slowly, Rune's eyes seem to revert back to normal, though she doesn't even seem to notice from her own perspective. She looks past him briefly, lips set into a thin line of obvious concern. "We... managed to rescue Telamon, but..." There is a haulting pattern to her words that she sometimes seems to slip into, likely some kind of affect from her experiences.
"He fell unconscious... His face looked like ash. Like death." She shakes her head, a few strands of that dyed hair hanging across her eyes. There are even some stuck together with the dried blood. "He'll be okay, right? They wouldn't all still be in there if..."
And then he asks if /she/ is okay. That seems to cause her to blink again, looking down at where his hand is laid on hers as if she didn't remember him putting it there. "I'm... not injured." That may not be the answer that he's looking for.
She takes a moment longer before adding, "They strung up bodies in effigy. Innocent people, dolled up to look like Lana, Telamon, so many others." There is a slight tremble to her fingers, "Harkashan was cutting them down, starting burial rights... I... I had to get out of there."
Slowly, she was coming back to normal. It was soothing, in a way, to know that she was at least *starting* to become okay. Though as she speaks of her experiences? The horrors that she endured becomes painfully clear. Minute by minute, as she speaks, Jacob's eyes turn serious...yet soften almost at the same time. Blood had managed to get into her hair as she speaks that Telamon was gonna be okay.
Jacob could not give her a guaranteed answer. But he /could/ offer some measure of warmth.
"There are some things that can wrench even the most powerful of hearts from the world...and other things are strong enough to wrench them back to be with the living. Telamon has a heart of great strength. I have no doubt in my mind that he was able to pull through."
Yet even still, he squeezes her hand softly. "Good." Tht she wasn't injured, though it wasn't really the answer he was looking for as he moves those strands of dyed hair from her eyes.
"Oh no..." Jacob's face softens. "Sick and twisted..." He feels that tremble in her fingers, and Jacob's own softly caress them. Encouraging that it was okay to not be okay. To go through the pain of the trauma without restraint. He was there for her.
"I understand."
He turns his eyes briefly to look at the temple. "None have left yet that I have seen. But I will remain here with you all the same."
When his hand moves to brush the hair from her eyes, that seems to cause Rune to consider her own appearance. She certainly looked like one who has been through quite an intense battle. "It's not mine." She starts to explain, then realizes just how vague the comment is. "The blood, that is... There were so many werewolves..." Still with that strange way of speaking, she continues. "Thankfully Dolan was fighting with us... he took out most of them on his own."
There is a slight hitch to her breathing, but Rune seems to realize as such and closes her eyes, trying to get herself back into some semblance of mental order. It isn't exactly successful. The reassurances about Telamon's strength do seem to lift some of that burden, allowing her to let slip a sigh and open her eyes again. "I... haven't known Cor'lana or Telamon for long. I haven't... really had many friends until recently. Not after..."
Rune doesn't continue that thought, but it's easy to fill in the blanks. Harkashan had been her longest friend, and even he had not seen her for over a year up until a chance encounter a matter of only a few weeks ago.
That, of course, comes around to the reason that she is so unsettled. "He... was the one who did burial rights for me. When I..." She still can't quite make herself say the words. "Harkashan, that is... I don't remember any of it, but... Every time I see it, it just makes me feel cold." Her brows furrow again, as if uncertain how to explain it. "When I came back, I felt like I'd never be warm again."
"I would be concerned if it was...and make sure you got the proper healing." Jacob offers to her with a soft tone of voice. She speaks of the werewolves that most likely swarmed them. A deep frown touches his face as she mentions it. "I ought to give Dolan my thanks the next time I see him." He looks down at the ground for that brief moment. Though any amount of burden he can lift from her shoulders is enough for him to find joy in it.
Yet here, he listens to her plight, to some of her deep-rooted trauma. She hasn't had many friends for long. And she reveals that Harkashan did her burial rites when she had awoken from the cold grasp of death. She hadn't thought she'd ever feel the touch of warmth.
With a soft nod, he squeezes her hand and places the other on her upper back, rubbing in a circular motion as if to provide some sense of warmth with the touch and comfort with to the stresses, often centered on the back of the neck and thoracic regions.
"I see...it's a cold thing, to come back to life, I would imagine. I have not yet had the opportunity, thank Serriel." He chuckles softly. "But here, I can promise you at least one thing: You're not alone anymore. It's alright to go through this, to experience what you're experiencing. You did what you could...and you survived, a testament not shared by all who endure what you do."
Now, _now_ Dolan is paying the price for his heroics earlier. Cleaned up from the battle of earlier, but missing almost all of his gear and clad only in an old but clean unbleached shirt with a low, open collar, and a worn pair of leather trousers, with low street boots on his feet, he walks out of one iof the side-streets in the Temple District. As he walks, he gingerly holds and rubs at his unbraced left shoulder with his right hand, grimacing in clear discomfort.
When he sees the pair beneath a tree, though, he pauses, recognizing both figures - and one is still mired in the muck of the battle, and quite clearly in distress. "Fuck," he mutters, fingers gently working the shoulder as he approaches. "Brightest of days, you two. You okay?" he asks, squatting where Rune can see him, with Jacob to his left and out of immediate reach.
It seems that dredging up this past trauma has been enough to allow Rune to at least be able to talk a bit about what had happened to her. Sometimes, talking about things is the first step towards truly starting to deal with them, but thus far, this seems to be a very deep emotional wound that is still raw at the edges.
And then... Jacob moves to touch her upper back. Everything else had been fine, up until then, but just as his fingers touch a spot centered just between her shoulderblades...
It is one of those moments like in a cartoon, where it's as if a jolt of electricity travels up and down her spine, causing the woman to stiffen in a very unnatural way. The next second, she all but jolts out of his reach, as if the touch had caused a surge of panic through her. She stares briefly, chest heaving as her breathing has kicked up. "Don't." The word is a whisper. There's no anger to it, though.
What did he just do?
And then there is Dolan, who walks in just at that moment. Bless him for the distraction. "Dolan." Blink. Rune seems to snap ot of that strange reaction, "I'm... fine. Really." For someone who should, by all rights, be good at lying, she isn't doing a good job at that moment. "Just a little shaken up by what happened. Telamon. The effigies. All of it." This part, at least, is honest. Strangest part? The hesitant, halting way she had been talking stops at that same moment as well.
As soon as that whispered word of 'don't' is said, Jacob removes /all/ contact.
Back, hands, all of it.
"Okay. I'm sorry."
Jacob whispers right back, though he settles his hands onto his lap, where she can see them as he looks at her, a soft look in his eyes as she confronts the deep emotional wound there, wounds that he's trying to help with, but...to very little avail. There's no anger in her words, a comforting notion, but an offense caused all the same.
He turns his eyes towards Dolan. "Dolan." He bows his head towards the fellow. "It's my understanding you are one of the many reasons why my friends have been able to come home. I'm in your debt." He turns his eyes to Rune. "I have been listening. I've found a good ear is a great help."
Up close, Dolan wears the hangdog look of someone too exhausted to sleep, his features twisted with something at odds with the expressionless golden gem set into the melted and furrowed flesh of the right half of his face. He just stares at the both of them, and nods slowly. "Yeah. No thanks needed. I'm just glad everyone got out safely." He grits his teeth, digging into what is quite obviously a painful left shoulder.
He lets out a breath, and sits down abruptly in the grass at the base of the tree, without letting go. "You ain't gotta lie to me," he tells Rune gently. "You've seen some shit. People like us - we know each other."
His left eye blinks, wearily, but there is no sleep coming. "If you want me to leave, I'll leave. If you want me to listen, I'll do that. Jacob, she ain't mean no offense. Just - some things hurt, and other things are bad reminders, yeah?"
When Dolan all but plops himself down onto the grass with them, it seems to break the 'mask' that Rune had instinctually thrown up. It's one of those reactions that comes from building too many walls to protect those fragile and broken parts beneath. "You... don't happen to have heard anything about Telamon yet... have you?" And that hesitant, halting way of speaking returns.
Rune knows well enough to accept that Dolan sees right through her. She gives a small nod of acknowledgement to that. "You don't have to leave. I was just... waiting here. Hoping to hear something." She explains, shifting back to a more comfortable sitting position after her brief surge of motion. There doesn't seem to be any lingering upset, though. Whatever had happened when Jacob touched her back, seems to have passed quickly.
"I... won't get into it too deeply but..." Rune starts, and then lets out a soft sigh. "I died about a year ago. Killed in Am'shere by some Charnites. My friend, Harkashan... he's the one that did my burial rites and put my body to rest." Her expression shows some uncertainty in how to explain all of this. Especially as she is sitting there, quiet alive at the moment. "Seeing those innocents... seeing him doing the same for them. It just..." She motions near her head.
"Some bad reminders stick with people, and aren't so easily let go of." Harkashan remarks, making his presence known as he approaches the tree in question. His gait is slow and ponderous as usual, his tail lazily swaying just an inch over the ground as to not drag.
The Temple district is a place where his kind of garb hardly stands out, but he most certainly seems to be the most colorful of 'Vardaman' Clerics just arriving from up higher.
He's about to ask Rune how she is doing, when she begins to explain her particular history on the matter, and he grows silent when she speaks of burial rites. There's a slight shadow that comes over his face when it's mentioned.
Jacob turns his eyes to Dolan for a moment. "Of that, I'm certain. She's a kind soul. I will know when I have committed harm, she is very outspoken." and unafraid of saying what she feels. It's meant as praise, even if Jacob isn't too great at saying that. All the same, his comforting touches are kept to himself, in the event that he causes her more grief and/or offense, hands resting firmly in his lap, yet he doesn't shift away from her.
"Of that, I know some feeling, yet they pale to what she has witnessed." He remarks to Dolan before he turns back to Rune.
He says nothing else, but he appears happy that whatever had happened had passed. When Harkashan appears, Jacob stays seated, but gives the Sith Makar a low bow of his head. "It's good to see you again, Harkashan."
Case in point - Dolan just about jumps out of his skin at the voice behind him, and is halfway to his feet when he recognized the Vardaman sith-makar lumbering towards them, his heart racing in his chest, but settles back down quickly enough, rubbing again at his shoulder, little though it seems to help. "Sorry. Brightest of days and peace upon your nest, Harkashan. No. I haven't yet. I needed to let my girl know I was okay."
He lets out a breath. "Dying's about the one thing I haven't done yet, and I'm not planning on it. I don't envy you, but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. How'd you come to meet Telamon?" His fingers are still working thoughtfully.
Rune's blue eyes turn to Jacob, taking in his appraisal of her nature. Yet, she raises no qualms about it, only blinking slowly as if that were acknowledgement enough that she wouldn't refute the claims. Then, she regards Dolan, giving a shake of her head, one hand moving to draw a few strands of dyed hair back behind one pointed ear. "It's... an experience I wouldn't recommend. The aftermath isn't particularly pleasant either."
And that is when Harkashan steps forward. There is no surprised reaction, showing that she likely heard his approach before he had spoken. "Hey." She offers softly, the less formal greeting offered with a lift of one hand. Rune had all but fled the aftermath of the battle when the Makari had started his burial rites. Oh, she knows very well that he had just overheard what she'd said, but he also needed to understand the emotional burdens she still carried.
Thankfully, Dolan offers the change of subject. "My father is a scribe and librarian from the Mythwood. He's worked frequently with Telamon's own father. So, when his father needed someone to carry some messages to him here in Alexandros, they set the task to me." The tale is simple enough. "It... was nice to find others like me. Half-sil. Telamon and Lana. People who know what it's like to grow up in two worlds."
"Your girl? I did not know you had a nest, sir Dolan. I hope your Hatchling fares well." Harkashan seems either unaware of having caused Dolan's heart to jump, or will simply let this go unspoken instead.
A lowering of his head follows towards Jacob, acknowledging him as well, before he gives a 'Hey' back to Rune. He can tell that she's trying to push the topic elsewhere, so he will speak of it with her later instead. He'd rather not sour the mood.
"I was wondering what made Telamon so important to you that you barged into my inn room that night." He notes to Rune, who hadn't quite spoken of Telamon to him before. "I am glad you have found Kin and Caste."
A soft smile seems to cross Jacob's features when Dolan seems to jump a little. Something good-natured in that, it reminds Jacob of fonder times when he would be reminded too of his rather jumpy nature. Makes him miss home a little bit, and the troublemakers that often came with it. Though, all the same, Jacob nods. "And how is you and yours, Dolan? I don't believe I asked." Rune was traumatized. If others were too, it was good to establish this as a place where others may come and lay down their burdens.
Jacob turns his attention to Rune then as she speaks of Telamon and Lana, nodding slowly a bit. He had heard her mention little by little of her father and how she had grown, but it was nice to hear it again even still. Growing up in two worlds must have been difficult, beyond so. His face softens as he looks at her, happy to listen. "It's always comforting to find someone of similar experiences, no matter how seemingly minor or major." He turns his eyes then towards Harkashan.
"Where there is one, there is always a caste they belong to. It warms my heart that likes have found likes."
Dolan snorts quietly, a smile that is warm, soft, and just a little bit sheepish steals over the mobile half of his features. "Nah. No kids yet. We're to be married this summer. I think your word for it is _cihuaa_?" He cranes his head back at Harkashan, the word meaning something close to exclusive mates for life. "She's fine, thanks for asking." This much is clear - the man is completely smitten.
He listens to the story of how she got to know Telamon and Lana, just nodding when she is done, still working gently at his shoulder with the odd grimace. "I was Tel's best man at him and Lana's wedding," he explains. "That's got its own story too, and a lot of it ain't mine to tell. Tel and Lana have been true friends to me and Andie, and I owe them. There's no way I wouldn't help. I hope he's okay."
"Can't say that I know what the two worlds thing is like, but I know Lana does. Not only is she part-sil, she's got ties to the fey too, so she's sort of in the middle of a lot of things."
The expresion that forms on Rune's features lingers close to embarassment. "It's... not like I have a lot of friends." She explains sheepishly. "My ties to them are certainly no where near as strong as most of the others. If nothing else, I wanted to prove myself." It may seem a strange concept, but Rune seems to often be uncertain of where she stands with others. Likely a result of that mixed-heritage upbringing.
"I... don't know that I've met your beloved, but you sound very much in love." That much is obvious. "Telamon and Lana are the same. Emotional ties that clearly run deep." There is a tone to her voice that suggests she appreciates such things, even if it isn't something that she has ever experienced first-hand. "I hope so, too. I still owe him some tea." Her lip quirks.
"I want to get to know them better, both of them. I haven't lived in Alexandros for many years... so any friends I can make and hold on to are important." She looks to Jacob, and then to Harkashan, "Both new, and old."
Jacob seems to look at the time for a moment. "I apologize, I must depart." He stands up, turning towards Rune with a warmth of stars. "As you are important to us, the importance of this bond we all share will never fade." He smiles warmly to her, before he bows to all present. "Thank you all, for allowing me to be in this conversation." He looks towards Rune. "If you need me for anything....I'm here." he smiles, and takes his leave.
There's a heavy ticking rumble in Harkashan's tone when Dolan mentions Cihuaa. It's not a very common word amongst the Sith-makar. Most certainly not something he's likely to have brought up around Rune. Yet, there's a strange fondness for the word when Dolan brings it up for some reason. Something Rune hasn't seen with this one before. It also means that she'll probably not understand the subtle glance that comes her way.
"I wish that was true." He then notes to Jacob, with a slight tone of concern to his voice. Spoken out of experience, no doubt, even if he himself was well received. He doesn't go further into why some might not find caste and kin.
Still, it's a look that easily gets erased when Rune looks up at the large draconic one. A simple nod is his answer.
"I should get to know your friends as well, so they may too become friends of mine." Though helping save someone's life - or at least stopping them from turning into a werewolf - may oft be a consideration for friendship, in truth, there is much more to it.
A motion erects from him, his hand raising, to wish Jacob; "Fair travels" before that hand returns to his side once more.
If Rune might pick it up, such subtleties are not lost on a man like Dolan, who is trained to pay attention to cues to more information. "See you around," he acknowledges Jacob's departure, then gets to his feet himself. "I ought to get to the Temple," he explains. "I - ah - wasn't exactly supposed to be fighting," he admits, with a sheepish grin. "I'm paying the price, but it was worth it." He bares his teeth in a clear expression of discomfort that may be misunderstood by the sith-makar.
"Look," he turns to Rune. "If you need to talk, I'm here. Lana'll tell you I'm no stranger to dark places. If not, that's fine too."
The person that subtlety /is/ lost on is Rune. The half-sil sits there in her oblivious bliss. Really, it is more that she knows a lot of languages, and words that she doesn't understand, her brain tends to skip over if it doesn't seem that important to the conversation.
With both Jacob and Dolan expressing that they need to depart, Dolan to the temple and Jacob to elsewhere, Rune also seems to consider just how long she's been waiting in vigil. "Do you... think it's okay if I get a bath and a few hours of sleep? If there's no news yet... I imagine it may be a while." Uncertainty lingers in her features.
The reassurances that she is not alone, and that there are people to talk to seem to ease Rune's emotional state, if only a little. "I appreciate it, both of you. More than you know."
It's at that point that she looks to Harkashan. "Would you mind walking me back to the inn? I'm not sure it's a good idea to go alone right now."
"Do let me know if you require my aid in healing your body after that battle." Harkashan remarks, offering his skills as a healer to him. He isn't sure if that is what Dolan is meaning to convey, but he offers none-the-less.
A tilt of his head follows by the show of teeth. But again, no words.
But on Rune's request, he simply nods his head. "I believe they will appreciate you taking care of your own health, while you wait." He offers her. "In fact, friends rarely wish for you to harm yourself through a lack of sleep. Come." A motion of his hand out to her.
"Let us head to the inn."
"Not a damn thing anyone can do, except loosen it," Dolan answers, shaking his head. "I'm still working back from something pretty bad," he says darkly, in a tone that warns not to ask. "Go on and have a bath and some sleep. I'll check in on Tel and Lana tomorrow. Brightest of days, both of you." With that, he turns his steps towards Daeus' mighty temple stairs.