Dear Sister II and III

Rhaltaas the 28th, Korday

Dear Sister,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Almost a moon and a half. The season’s even changed. I still have the candle. Can’t make the flame go out from it for shit but I’m still trying. At least I think I’ve gotten the light trick down. Four orbs now, and I think that’s all I’ll be able to do. That’s all I’ve seen other mul’neissa do. Working on the ‘making people catch fire but not really’ part now. I think mine might look different.

How is your candle? I know it still burns, I miss your light. You’re still on my mind. I have so much to show you. What I’ve done, what I’ve accomplished. I hope you’re proud of me. I went to Charn, did some good there to try and help you. Stopped some slaves from, what I assume to be, sacrificed to that guy. I hope that helped at least a tiny bit.

I even figured out how to move around like you do. Well, not exactly like you, I could never get those shadows down. I went another way around it. Just move really, really fast. Strike showed me how to focus my will. They spoke a lot about it being a river and… it really didn’t make much sense to me. But what I figured out is that all those memories I think of when doing what I do, there’s something that connects all of it together. I had to reach beyond, into the depths, past your smiling face, the pain of my history, the warmth of Violet. I’ve never felt such strength. Such power.

What does it mean? And does it burn so hot, sister?

I feel it deep within me. It burns. I feel it when I fight. When I think of the pain. When I think of you. When I think of Vio- fuck it, Venom. I’m ridding this letter later anyroad. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. I don’t know who to talk to besides you. It’s just been getting stronger, and stronger. It doesn’t hurt, it’s just- I don’t know. My eyes always glow in the dark. But now they blaze in the direct sun. I don’t know what’s happening to me. Shadow drips from me when I’m in despair, hopeless, broken. Light pours from my eyes when I’m on top of the world. And now I keep putting light on things I touch?! I don’t know what’s happening. It’s getting more intense every day. What am I- What is- What should-

What is going on with me?!

I have this shit happening with me. And then, apparently, I understand Celestial? The language of angels? I don’t even like them! Why do I know this? How can I understand it? Verna, a Mourner, helped figure out some of my past for me. And after I watched Strike let go of her past, I went and had her look at my past. I… was nobleborn? And my parents..? Fuck! So much is happening with me I just can’t-

Right. Sorry. A lot is going on in my head.

I’ll talk about Venom, then. She’s...amazing. So sweet and understanding. Quite clueless about a lot of stuff that people do in relationships, but thankfully living a century gives you some adjacent knowledge on such things. She was basically raised like a war golem, I’ve learned, so it makes sense how she acts. She’s so worried about her past catching up to her, I really want to help her cleanse that. I convinced her to stay with me in the inn, as if her past comes for her, we can fend it off together. She means a lot to me. She showed me the most beautiful sight: the stars. Or, at least, a capture of it in a piece of impossibly complex stained glass. She said I was her North Star, her guiding light. I told her she was my night blossom.

Shut. The fuck. Up. I know it’s cheesy.

We’ve grown really, really close. I am very fond of her. I… I even told her what I wanted to tell you. I’m not going to write it down, I want to tell you to your face (after I punch it).

Cryosanthia is doing great, actually. She’s going to go to Mictlan to- oh, right. She’s going to have some eggs, apparently. I’m going to have to help protect them, whatever that is supposed to mean. So I'll be running around a lot for that. Lily is doing good as well. Healthy, curious about everything. I’ve had to get on to her a couple of times with firearms and getting into things she shouldn’t. She misses you too.

I’ve made a lot of friends. More than I’ve ever had at one time. It feels nice to be wanted. It’s becoming easier to feel like I’m a person rather than just a thing.

You were pivotal in that, you know?

So, thank you. Really. For all that you’ve done for me. And us.

Keep the flame going.

Your sister,

Aryia

P.S. I’ve gotten pretty good at making clothes. Are you more of a dress person? Or a jacket and pants? Robes maybe? Leather jackets are in right now. Because I said so.

Quintoos the 13th, Ceriday

Dear Sister,

I did it! I finally did it! I conquered that stupid fucking candle! It feels so strange to use, like I’m pulling at something that’s not even there. And that burning. I figured out what it was. It was the Light. I don’t know what I can use the light just as easily as other mul’neissa wield shadow, yet I feel like I’ve been jammed into the center of two sides, and I only just now realized it. Maybe that’s why I’ve had such a hard time getting a handle on it.

It’s so bright, using that light. It shoves away the darkness. I never knew I could do this. Or ever dreamed of being able to do this.

Is this what it felt like for you when you first figured out how to use the shadows?

It’s so exhilarating.

I’ve gotten better at zipping around. No more crashing into things. Everything happens so fast when I do it, but it also feels so slow. Like everything stopped just so I can move like how I want to. I can clear whole buildings and streets, jump up to tall towers, get just about anywhere I need to right then and there. But damn, is it always so exhausting to do? It feels like I sprinted for a solid ten minutes in the blink of an eye. Maybe I just have to keep doing it. Train it like a muscle. In time, it’d be ingrained in muscle memory, just like how you effortlessly slip through the shadows.

Speaking of memory. I regained some of mine.

That one memory evoked from Verna had dredged up others slowly in its wake. A lot of it is still a blur, smeared. But the faces, the names, are slowly coming back to me. I remember going to parties. Making clothes. Attending meetings. Sermons. My name. My old name. It still feels so strange to hear it’s utterance. I have a creeping fear that I was my own worst enemy in my past.

I think I remember you said something about a similar upbringing. I wonder if we actually ran into each other in our past lives? Wouldn’t that be something? Of course the circumstances might have been different. Maybe we were at each other’s throats? Or perhaps we knew of each other.

I know these musings wouldn’t have much meaning now, it’s just funny to think about. As well to compartmentalize things. (Compartmentalize! I learned that word all on my own!)

Yet still, I cannot help but wonder: what happened that caused me to be cast out from the upper throes of society to the very bottom? I learned of what method would have caused this to happen to me, and it fills me with such rage and frustration at the machinations of the Aby’ssaian society. Anytime I try to recollect what happened, I’m met with the same mental block as before. The smeared oil.

Is this because of the light that I have?

Nevermind that. Unfound conspiracy talk. Regardless, I hope you’re well. I cannot wait to show you the things I’m capable of now. Perhaps whenever you are free, we could have a sparring match? I think I might be able to actually land a hit on you this time around.

Venom and I are moving. For both our peace of mind. Ashwing attacked the Fernwood, and it was a pretty brutal endeavor. And for her, she’d feel more comfortable having it as a safehouse from her past. We both have a lot of parallels, surprisingly. Not too far, though. Still in the city. It just might be a bit harder to track me down is all. But, I know how much you like randomly appearing out of nowhere.

I get to do that too now.

I also tried to teach her some of what you and Strike taught me. I guess I’m the mentor now, huh? I still haven’t a clue what I’m doing, and I think I’m starting to realize that no one really knows what they are doing. Funny that, right?

I’ve been using this method of clearing my mind, and it’s been rather helpful as of late. Was it something you were going to teach me eventually? I think I’ve seen you do something similar before.

Anyways, I need to get back to packing things up. We have a bad habit of putting things away, then taking them back out.

I’m still here for you when you get back.

Your sister,

Aryia

P.S. I gave your dress away. Don’t worry, I’ll make another one. It’ll be better than that one, I’ve gotten a lot better at making clothes.

These letters did not meet the same fate as their progenitor. Instead they lay stuck between the pages of a journal packed away in a box.