Lady Sandiel

Sandy is Joan Jett

Lady Arwenieniallwehn Sandiel is a frolicsome elf with great, swaying hips who hugs trees and who lives in a vampire-ridden manor. She for years has been accused of being somewhat demonic in nature despite her tendency to donate to orphanages.

Oh. And the tree-hugging thing.

"Ode to Sandy"

by Alteri (with Quint to the side, looking on with stars in his eyes and an expression of solemn awe)

She wheels her wheelbarrow, through streets that are narrow.

Her barrow is narrow, her HIPS are too wide.

And where ever she wheels it.

The neighbourhood feels it.

Her girdle keeps scraping the homes on each side.

I don't mind her fat butt,

It's not only that, but...

She's cockeyed and musclebound Sandy Stallone~