Dear Sister

Dear sister,

There are many things I want to tell you. My frustration at your decision, my forgiveness thereafter, my training discoveries, the trade I picked up, and so much more.

Can you tell I'm getting better at writing? Those silly books do a lot better for me than I thought aside from just idle amusement.

I broke my arm the other day, trying to copy what you do. I almost got it, I think. I don't think I'll be able to use the shadows like you can. It'd take too long. But that's okay, we're not supposed to be the same.

I do lament the fact that my mul'neissa insight is put on hold due to a recent prick killing Daed. There's not many Charn born mul'neissa in Alexandria that know the better (or worse) parts of upper society. I know his passing was done by your hand, but not by your will. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I can't even comprehend the pain you feel right now.

And there goes me trying to keep this light.

I miss you. Terribly.

Every day I awake hoping you will be okay. I even, and fuck me for saying this, prayed for you. I can't help you any more. I did all I could. I cut off the slave supply, went into Charn just for you. Your candle had only just begun to burn, and now it's being smothered. It isn't right. You should be free from this. You tell me I deserve as much good things to happen to me as possible, but I think the same also applies to you.

I have things I wish to say to you that I don't want to write down. To show you I have the strength to say them without preparing myself.

On a more lighter note, Venom and I are doing good. It's a little complicated, she doesn't want people to know about us for a lot of good reasons, but she's really sweet. You should see her in the clothes I made her. She's really pretty. I'm so glad you gave me the courage to ask her to be more than friends. She's intelligent, caring, and just as flawed as me. We both have our quirks, and even through it is rough at times, we make a good team and work through it. She's also just as clueless as I am. Which I like. There's no pressure about anything. We just exist, and enjoy each other's company.

Did you know that humans sleep for a really, really long time? It's insane. I'd go crazy losing that much of my day.

Cryo is doing a lot better. She's healthy now. And Lily is doing just fine. I made them blankets with their names on it. I hope I spelled Lily's right. I still can't write my native tongues at all.

I managed to beat an Angorite the other day in a sparring match. They're almost twice my height, and I still beat them. I've come such a long way ever since you met me that one day on the street. You'd be so proud of me. Not surprised, of course, as you always say. I still can't tell if you're fucking with me saying that or not, but if- no- when, you come back, I'll figure that out soon enough.

Do you have a favourite color? I think purple would look good on you. You're just a tiny bit shorter than me, and we're built the same. I'll make something for you when you get back. I really like tailoring. It's calming, and it feels familiar, for some reason. I can't remember my childhood very well, if at all. But I think I was a seamstress. I sometimes catch myself finishing a stitch I hadn't learned yet. Or doing a trick for measuring that I haven't gotten to yet in the books I've bought on the subject.

I've always wondered what I used to be for the longest time, and where I came from. Why would a slave know how to sew fine clothes? Knowing how to mend is one thing, but I shouldn't know these things. And as much as I hate wearing corsets and fancy dresses, it feels like it fits me. What on Ea was I? And why was I slave for so long? And with Daed dead and you gone, it feels like these questions may never be answered, save for my going back to the very place that broke me.

But I'm not sure. I have too much here to lose. I don't count you lost. Not yet. I don't have faith in anything overarching, but I have faith in you.

This letter serves no purpose. It won't be delivered, it won't be saved for later. It's going to be destroyed. It just helps me feel better.

Regardless of that, it still feels like I get to talk to you this way. Even though it's just talking to a wall. Shit, replace the wall with a symbol and I'd be a cleric. Imagine that, if I was a cleric. The thought is amusing, and so ill fitting. I'd probably be an Angorite, or a Korite, all things considered. Wouldn't even have to dress up for it. Though, if such a thing were to be reality, I'd say I would be an imposter.

I do want to ask, though. When you learned how to use what you do, do you feel this burning feeling? Strike taught me how to sense my body, and feel it in a way I never could put to words. The memory I used to block all the pain was only just the surface of a deep ocean that I only now realized I was already several dozens of feet under. Was this that will you were talking about? I feel it beneath the skin, looping through every digit and limb. I never knew what to look for, I was so busy trying to not drown to realize I was swimming deeper and deeper. But like the sith-makarai, I shouldn't fear the depths. I have to learn how to float there. And breathe.

That's a lot to take in.

What else? Oh. Your cooking is terrible, by the way.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. I always have a lot to say, got a lot built up from the decades. I know you don't mind. And I appreciate it a lot.

I think that's it for this one.

Kick ass for me.

With words I want to say to your face, your sister,

Aryia

P.S. I can make three orbs of light now. It's a lot of fun.

P.P.S. Don't be surprised when I punch your face when you come back hale. I'm still pissed at you. Rightfully so. Don't worry, I'll hug you after.

Aryia dabs a bloodied cloth at her equally painted lips, her throat beyond sore and aching in pain. With the night twinkling above, the only light that reflected off the destroyed brick wall in the alleyway was a small trash fire beside her. She folds the letter up, closes her eyes, and deeply sighs.

Paper ignites, and the embers join the clouds above.