Everybody Hurts

Afternoon is beginning to wane into evening, by the time the cleanup in the streets is done and all is set to rights once more. Seldan has only just returned to the template a scant few minutes ago, and now stands with his back to the door in the cell he uses when he does not go home to Malik, the door left ajar. He has laid aside much of his gear, leaving it scattered on the bed, and the celestial runes that have replaced the black patchiness of his skin, the myriad of strange tattoos that occupy much of his back and shoulders, and a nasty purpling bruise across his right side and chest are all now visible as he stands, shirtless, fitting his armor back on the rack with weary hands.

He fits the last piece on, then removes his boots and sets them aside as well, next to the rack. His shoulders are tense knots, his head bowed as he works in silence.

Zeke was directed to this cell, one he knows well, but went alone. Without the usual escort. He doesn't want the interruption of another person into Seldan's private territory. He feels, that it is bad enough that he is infringing on it. However as he draws up to the door silently he sees the wounds and Seldan's quiet demeanor he is glad that he came. Gently, very gently, he knocks on the door with his flesh-and-blood claw. "Kin." He offers the word equally quietly, not wishing to startle the other man.

The step-tap sound on the stone outside the door was clue enough, and so Seldan had already looked up when Zeke peeks in. He turns, and something in him relaxes on seeing Zeke, although whether it is Zeke's presence, or the fact that he is alone, is up for debate. "Peace upon your nest, kin. Are you well?"

He doesn't quite meet Zeke's eyes.

Instead, he moves to strip off hose that is utterly coated in something unspeakably nasty, and bundle it up. For a moment, he seems uncertain on what to do with it, but finally raises a hand and chants a simple spell, the filth invisibly clearing away as he runs them between his hands. The words, though, hold the rasp of weariness, as one who has leaned heavily on their magic today.

"Peassce on your nesst." Zeke says, by rote but also with intent. As if he could make peace follow this man whom he feels deserves it. He doesn't move forward, not yet sure of his welcome, but watches every move that Seldan makes with the care that a healer has. "Thisss one isss well kin, but it doesss not ssseem that you are. Will you allow thissss one to heal your body, and ssshare wordsss with thisss one, to eassse the burden of your mind?"

A single lock of unruly hair has fallen in Seldan's face, and tumbles into his eyes as he looks up to survey Zeke, meeting his eyes as if for the first time. "I had thought to inspect it myself, but does it please you and not tax you, the assistance is welcome. I think it no worse than a bruise." It is one of those bruises that looks nasty but does not seem to be hampering him overmuch. "I have spoken at some length with the Vardamen regarding what happened. The fault is mine, kin. Innocent people died horribly, because my watch was not close enough, my wits not sharp enough, my suspicion not great enough. I ought to have known that he would return, and try something of the kind." Bitterness laces the words.

Zeke enters the room slowly, his calm, placid demeanor reaching out to Seldan even before he reaches the other man. He lays a gentle claw on the other man's shoulder. Sending a pulse of warm healing through his body to heal the bruises and looked into the paler eyes of the man who was bent under the weight of his own thoughts. "You can not, ssshould not blame yourssself for the actionsss of the demon kin. That way liesss pride. We can not predict what evil they plot, for we have not their evil inssside usss. Did the ssservantsss of the Death-singing dragon sssay sssuch to make you doubt yoursself?"

The bruising along Seldan's side melts away, fades to nothing, as the touch accompanied by a pulse of warmth and golden light washes through him. The smile that forms on his lips is brief and tentative, a ghost of a thing really, and his eyes go to that claw on his shoulder, marveling for a moment at the change that made such a touch possible. "Truly have you grown in strength, Zeke," he murmurs appreciatively.

It's a short-lived thing, though. "Both Mal and the Hearthguard say as much, and I cannot deny the truth of their words. Mal would have me abandon all and flee in the name of protecting them, but ... it is in my mind that flight shall serve little purpose, and only in opposing him and seeing him thrown down once and for all shall we find a measure of peace."

"The Hearthguard demands to know why it is that none were cautious with the statue that Mistress Aya retrieved from the thing, for it is not her first experience, and she has spoken of the danger before. She demands to know why her warnings were not heeded, and why I am permitting innocent people to be carried off."

Zeke is glad once again that Seldan can not smell the waft of embarrassment that rises from him at the acknowledgement that he is much changed. They have not spoken as such, about this fact, but Seldan has brought it up from time to time and Zeke has yet to explain it fully. It is perhaps enough for them both that the change has happened. Seldan's words prompt him to speak however and he shakes his head at the other man. "Thisss one isss in agreement with you about many thingsss kin, and it isss sso that running would not ssserve you here. The demon would merely follow. Asss for Aya..."

Here he grows silent a moment his eyes fixed on the wall and then he rolls his shoulder in a brief half-shrug. "You would never permit a perssson to be taken. Thisss one knowsss if there wasss any-thing you could do... you would have done it. For Aya, or any other. The Hearthguard ssspeaksss out of sssadnesss and the inability to change what hasss happened."

Seldan is not one to pry, and has long since given over attempting to coax from Zeke just what the difference is. For now, it is enough that it is, and that it is so is joy enough. "No. I would not," he agrees, his eyes lowering again. He walks over with slow steps to sink down on the small chair at his writing desk, elbows resting on knees. "In truth had I scarcely known. I had heard the warnings about the statues, but it all happened so fast ... would that I could have stopped her, and yet stopping the construct was first and foremost, lest more be slain." He shakes his head slowly, clearly haunted.

It is a small room, so Zeke remains where he is within it so as to allow his kin the space he so clearly needs. "Thisss one hasss not heard what happened. Sssave a little which thisss one wasss able to glean from the ssservants of the death-singing dragon. Yet thisss one knowsss that you did the bessst you could. Thisss one doess not even know how many might have died if you had not realized when you did the danger. Or if you had not been here at all..." It did not bear thinking.

"The stack of body parts left outside our door was more than it first appeared, and I did not think to check for magic, so angry was I," Seldan answers guiltily, eyes on the floor. "When we arrived, the Mourners were beset by a horde of undead, and only a crumbling forcewall held them back from being overwhelmed. I sought to reinforce it, but too swiftly did it give way. The tower itself had taken on a terrible, unnatural life, and sought to crush the forcewall. We drew its eyes, but Aya paid dearly." A grimace accompanies the words.

There's a slight indrawn breath from Zeke. Surprise that the bodies were in fact a trap of some kind. "You could not have known Sseldan." Zeke said gently, but he listened to the story, eventually shaking his head again. "What happened with Aya?"

"I should have suspected." Seldan appears to be quite stubborn on this point. "Too well do I know this demon's wiles to put such past him. She was sore injured, but when Master Mithralla realized that the power source was within it, she found it - the statue of Mariela. When that was removed, it stopped the horde, and the construct crumbled - but it is in my mind that the statue has seized her will. If I had only realized."

Zeke shifts his weight somewhat. "Are you sssure that it ssseized upon her will? Or iss it posssible that..." He huffs out a breath and looks away. "Thisss one hass had doubtsss about Aya. About her heart. It could have offered her sssomething, and perhapsss that wasss enough. Whether it did or did not we can not know for scertain without her pressent, and you can not know every-thing Sseldan. You are not asss your goddessss and blesssed with the ability to dream the future!"

Tracking down Seldan takes a little work, and it is several hours later, afternoon waning into evening, when he finally returned. Inquiries in the Temple point towards his cell, from which quiet voices emerge. He sits now on the chair before the small writing desk in the cell, elbows resting on his knees and head in his hands. He is shirtless and barefoot, down to trousers, leaving numerous tattoos - almost a collage, really - visible, with inky black runes in the celestial script covering large patches of his skin.

"And yet am I faulted when such goes awry, for it is me that they look to." He draws a deep breath, as if to settle himself. "I suppose that such is my lot. Does Eluna not turn her back on me, Mal and any others may say what they will."

"Yet does it not hurt some part of usss when onesss cihuaa sssaysss ssuch thingsss? When alliesss turn assside in anger and frussstration?" Zeke is a gentle wind of voice from the center of the room, looking at Seldan, trying to reason with him. "Thisss one knowsss sssuch painsss Sseldan. Of watching othersss sssee you in your failure, having onesss cihuaa doubt. You do not have to pretend that sssuch doess not leave itsss own wound in the heart."

Just as well that it takes some time for Serene was some time in doing her best to track down the vanished Aya, even knowing that every second past pushed the odds of finding her further and further away. Eventually, admitting defeat, she had returned.. and then done what she could to trace Seldan's movements. Which is what brings her, at long last, here. Admitted into the temple proper, after permission for her presence is given, she is shown to the pair.

Silence from Seldan makes the truth of the matter all too clear. His body language, the look he wears, speak of emotions Serene has not often seen upon him. Guilt. Hurt. Self-doubt. The door to his cell is ajar, and quiet voices are audible within. He does not answer Zeke, not verbally, his eyes lowering again.

The silence is a weight on Zeke, and the sith goes to his knees so that he does not tower over his kin. "Thisss one doess not sssay sssuch to hurt you, or to make you more aware of the pain, but... You mussst grieve ass all men mussst grieve. You mussst allow yoursself to feel, or you will losse your-sself. You will loosse thisss onesss kin in all that you ssseek to hide from the world." He looks solemnly at the other man, holding out his claw. His flesh and blood one. "Are we not kin? Do we not ssshare pain?"

Serene tilts her head once, off to the side, then steps inside. Her heavy steps make no secret of her arrival, serving as an announcement as much as clearing her throat might. Other than that she does not speak, perhaps in respect to whatever momentum Zeke may be building up with his admissions and advice. So she settles against the wall just inside the cell instead, folding her arms patiently. Not exactly lurking, but not wishing to interrupt beyond her arrival either.

"The time when I was free to do as I will has passed, kin, and is no more." Still does Seldan reach for that claw, taking it in his hand, his own grip quite firm and speaking all too clearly of the hurt within, what he refuses to show to others. It is painfully clear, watching his shoulders begin to shake, that Zeke has the right of it, and that the events of earlier in the day, resonate deeply within and weigh on his mind.

It is only when he has held that grip for a minute or more that he becomes aware of another presence in the room, and looks up, without letting go of that claw. "How might I be of aid?" The hurt and guilt he wears is pushed down, pushed aside, although he does not let go of the sith-makar's claw. "Serene."

"Peassce on your nesst." Zeke intones, but his words are quiet things, and his sole focus is Seldan. He does not turn from his kin, nor let him go. He offers nothing more than this greeting for the moment, and the strength of himself at his kins side.

Serene leans away from the wall, gazing at the pair for a moment. Weighing her words, perhaps. Measuring the mood of the room. Signs of extended time in the winds are obvious; several strands of hair loose from her braid, her circlet. Parched lips. "Her light illume," she finally says, another head tilt. "I know this is not a good time and I am loathe to interrupt this. From what little I overheard, I agree that you must not hide yourself away from this, Seldan. But do not know if this can wait." A pause, almost a chance for interruption, perhaps. But then, "I could not find her, though this should not come as a surprise. I need to know what today was about. What this statue Aya pulled from the beast was. And we need a plan to deal with Eclavdran. I was content to allow him to hide in his realm if he chose to remain.. your words earlier suggest he has changed his mind. It is time to make him regret this."

Zeke thumps his tail. Gently, and then more firmly. Slowly he turns his eyes to Serene and he looks at her, but his whole self is still very much fixated on Seldan. "No. Thisss one mussst inssist. Tomorrow you and Ssseldan can fight the demonsss of the world. It isss not now time to make Eclavdran regret." He hums low in his throat, his brow furrowing. "Too many woundsss go unaddresssed! Too many times are hurts left untended! Thisss one isss a healer and thisss one sssayss that it isss time for healing. Thisss musst be done before a hunt can be planned, before plansss can be made."

He looks at Seldan begging the other man not to discount his words. "If it wasss thisss one, hurting ssso, would you let thisss one go another night? Sssshe isss your sssisster-in-armsss, it isss good if ssshe staysss, but /pleassse/. Thisss burden you carry Ssseldan... It isss a wound that mussst be healed."

Almost, for half a second, it looks as if Seldan will nonetheless try to meet the demand, and do what is asked of him. He nearly achieves the usual calm, even mask he is so well known for. He opens his mouth as if to speak -

- and Zeke beats him to it, negating it, bidding him stand down. His eyes lower, and the mask falls away. It's visible now. Guilt. Hurt. Self-recrimination. "I ... would not burden Serene with my troubles, does she not will it. For in truth was the error that allowed today's events to happen mine. I should have suspected magic, knowing that it was the work of Eclavdran. I might have known that the demon intended worse than mere horror." Bitterness sings through the words.

Serene, for her part, actually looks.. not abashed. But at least an acceptance that her timing truly was ill thought out. She watches Seldan's reaction to Zeke's interposition.. and then nods. "Tomorrow. I misspoke. Tomorrow is soon enough." She settles back against the wall, then, her hands folded before her. Clearly deciding she wishes to be burdened. "Perhaps. Though I suspect that this had less to do with your errors and more to do with the creature knowing how best to torment you."

Zeke nods a little, satisfaction to the fact that Seldan does not turn his words aside, and also that Serene is staying. His tail flicks, closes the door so that none other will enter and interrupt them again. "Thisss one agreessss with your sssisster-in-armsss Sseldan. Eclavdran isss a cunning beassst. Perhapsss he knew that attacking the innoscent would hurt you more than attacking you directly. Asss thisss one sssaid before, you can not esxpect to be prepaired for hisss every move." This is more gently spoken. "You are but one man Sseldan, you are alssso only a man. What wasss sssaid to you.... Thisss one would ssshare many wordsss with the onesss that ssspoke them to you."

The words sink in, slowly, like a benison. Seldan does not let go of the claw he holds, just draws several deep breaths in silence, one after the other. "Mal - fears Eclavdran, as no other. Wishes only to flee," he begins slowly. "It is in my mind that his words were spoken in fear. He - has nightmares, of what was done to him. I have not spoken of the night I found him, afterwards. And - it is in my mind that he does not truly understand, what it is I am called to do. He wishes only for his safety, and for mine."

Finally, he looks up at Serene, then Zeke. "It is not only he that demands I answer for those lives. The Hearthguard does the same, and doubtless many others. But - it is not in my mind that fleeing Eclavdran will serve, not now. I did so when we wished to draw his eye from Alexandria. But, he is here now, and his foul works with him. Fleeing will not protect us, and no place shall be safe, does he succeed in his aims."

"Fear." Serene says the one word, letting it hang. "I do not claim to understand Malik's fear. I do not believe, considering what it sounds like he has lived through, anyone truly can. But I do know that such fears can drive people to do or say thing in haste. That it obscures the long term. I know you do not blame him, Seldan... but neither can you allow words spoken in such fear weigh on you. For you are correct. He does not understand what calls you. And this is okay." She lets those words settle for a moment, to digest, before continuing. "The Hearthguard... well, I believe fear drove her words as well. I cannot claim to know what she has seen, but it is very likely that what happened today shocked her. As it shocked most of us. It is unlikely she knows Eclavdran. More unlikely that she understands what he is capable of. I suspect her vision started and stopped at the carnage today, so her reactions were formed from that mold. Eclavdran brought that hell down upon us. That creature made that choice, not you, nor I, nor anyone there. Of course those that died will weigh upon us. Anyone who believes otherwise is a fool. We will answer for those lives... and I think Eclavdran may not like the answer we bring."

Zeke nods to the wisdom offered by Seldan's friend, honorably known as the Great Paladin. "Fear makesss usss sssay many foolisssh thingssss." He gives Seldan's hand a gentle squeeze, a gentle reminder that he is still here and listening. "It isss thisss onesss mind that Malik ssshould perhapsss ssshare wordsss with sssome-one who can help him with hisss fear. Ssharing wordsss... it can make ssuch thingsss grow lesss. He hasss sssuffered, thisss one doess not know the detailsss, but that he fasced the demon isss enough. No Ssseldan, no-one can claim to anssswer for the livesss losst sssave the Death-singing dragon. Only they know."

Seldan closes his eyes and lowers them at the words spoken. "The details are known to me. I - am sworn to speak to none of it." He leaves it at that, and sighs. "He may always speak to me, and it is in my mind that I should perhaps make more time for him, than I have of late. As for the Hearthguard - they encountered this cult in a warehouse, and found people being smuggled out as statues. The guards ignore her pleas, claiming that stone statues are property. I share her frustration with the corruption of Alexandria's guard, but I may not defy their authority."

His eyes, though, are moving gradually upwards, to meet that of the other two. Somehow, that band of pain across his features is easing slowly, the knot uncoiling before the wisdom of friends. "There are two gifts, I am told. That was the first, and the other must I seek out." The word _gifts_ is spoken with a turn of tone that makes it an epithet. "These statues allow their holder to fight beyond death, and seek to control the mind of any who touch them. I would not touch one, with no warding magic against such things."

Serene's lips curl briefly in distaste, but she nods. Then after a moment, the curl turns into what might charitably be called a rueful smile. "We are not supposed to discuss this until tomorrow," she reminds.

Zeke huffs a sound. Not quite amused, but not quite upset either. Perhaps a bit of both. "Thisss onesss kin doesss ever sstrive to fight the forscess of evil." He shakes his head, and looks seriously at his kin. "Thisss one thinksss that you were more upssset by their wordsss, and the burden of their expectationsss. And... the lossss of life."

"So I do, and I shall aid the Hearthguard in saving as many of those statues as I may. But -" Seldan's rueful smile is a ghost of a thing. "It is as you say. Tomorrow shall I share all that I know, that we may begin the hunt in earnest. For now - Mal is the last person I would have expected to lay such accusations at my feet, and yet perhaps should I not be so stunned."

Serene is silent for a moment when the topic of Seldan's partner is brought up once more. Finally, "I cannot claim to know what drives him to say such things. Perhaps it is fear, as we have said. Fear for himself. Fear for you. I would trust that what he said was spoken in haste. That were he of a calmer disposition he would have had different words. This... I would advise the benefit of the doubt until given more reason not to."

"Thisss one agreesss. Ssspeak to him again. Sssee if calmer wordsss are lesss harsssh. If they are not, then it isss time to asssk him to sspeak to sssomeone who can walk him through hisss hurt. Sssomeone who can help him know hissss own mind clearly ssso that he doess not lasssh out at you." Zeke speaks as though he has the weight of experiance behind his words.

Slowly, Seldan nods. "Your words are wise, both of you. That shall I do, when he has had time to think. It is in my mind to sleep here this night, to make clear to him that his words were not well-taken." A ghost of a smile plays around the corner of his lips. "I am grateful for you both, your counsel, and your presence. It is a gift. Perhaps ... I do not stand so alone as once I thought I did."

"Now that," Serene says, leaning away from the wall again, unclasping her hands so she might life one to point at Seldan, "Is something I need to you to never forget. You do not stand alone." Then her hand drops to her belt and her gaze turns to take in Zeke and Seldan as a pair again. "That being said, I shall now leave you alone. No.. the humour is not lost on me. But I interrupted the two of you.. and it is time, I think, I gave the Sunguard and yourself the time you need for that healing. I will come seeking you in the morning. Early."

Zeke nods low in thanks to Serene, his expression showing his gratitude. Both for her staying, and for the fact that she has found a graceful exit. He will remain with Seldan for a time. Allowing the other man to say what he needs to say. Do what he needs to do... to begin to heal. Zeke does not leave, until that is begun.