Goldbell's Clap, part 2 *Bugged VP*
Log Info
- Title: Goldbell's Clap, part 2 *Bugged VP*
- Emitter: Jinks
- Characters: Jay, Khepri, Shilde, Slixvah
- Place: Colosseum, IronBrew's, Crossroads
- Time: Monday, March 28, 2022, 1:29 PM
- Summary: With a name, description, and a trail to follow, the party sets off. Blood takes them to the Colosseeum District (as it often does) and information gathered finds them inside IronBrew's. Things take a turn when the gnomish proprietor can't take a joke but the next leg of the journey is revealed. The city is combed further to the west and then the quartet find themselves skulking through the Alexandros wilderness. Tracking down a wagon through the mud is simple if unpleasant. The camp of the villains is scouted before open negotiations begin. A duplicitous memeber of the Goldbell house staff escalates things to violence. Boden and his husband, Turiau, are rescued from demons and devils that had infiltrated Alexandria before the wards were erected. Goldbell's infernal dealings are discovered and brought to the temples so justice can be meted out.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Appearing =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Jay 5'9" 145 Lb Eaglefolk Male A perky male Blue Jay with a discerning eye. Khepri 6'10" 300 Lb War Golem Male A tall, gangly war-golem draped in religious charms. Shilde 4'4" 160 Lb Khazad-Aul Female Tall for a dwarf, long blonde hair in a thick braid, big blue eyes. Slixvah 5'8" 130 Lb Eaglefolk Female A rust red and white Egalrin covered in veils, ribbons, and shawls. -=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= As the GM =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Jinks 3'4" 39 Lb Gnome Male A gnomish fellow in fancy garb and jewelry. -=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=--=
An Angorite, or Angorites, asked about the Bells. An Angorite, allegedly, breaks in with force. Angorite gets stabbed by guard and steals bell and bashes guard's face.
The party has the name of an Angorite, but the trail might not lead to the temples.
Plus there is something unrelated about sandwiches. Which ties in with how the Goldbells weren't goldbells until they got the goldbell and the Sandwich Goldbe- err, Grinder Goldbell deserves a feather slap. The Goldbells seem to've had a good turn of luck after obtaining this unique plant no one has ever heard of. They're on their 7th Goldbell now. They only seem to have sons with a strong familial resemblance.
The number of bells on the plant are very important, etc, etc.
The front door of the Goldbell estate opens up onto a nicer part of the western trades (well away from Goblintown). Many of the workshops, shops, and halls here double as comfortable residences for the assorted skilled craftsmen. Again, it's not as nice as anything east of the river... but there are a lot fewer folk walking around with their heads lodged solidly up their backsides.
The investigations and (difficult) interviews have pushed the day towards the lunch hour. On your average Eliday that would mean the streets are especially quiet and today mostly-conforms to that expectation; there are a few folk out enjoying the turn towards the Spring with the sun at its peak.
Goshtasb wishes you luck as he closes the door behind you, begging that you ring the bell upon your return with the Planar Goldbells. Don't just let yourselves in, please. Pretty please. He's begging.
The sahllow lawn between the building's facade and the street is interrupted by a stone path that meets the road running east and west. There is no fence on the front side of the house.
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+13+2: (13)+13+2: 28
Shilde and Rocky quickly find the trail and follow it west. A few stray drops as well as a bloodied bootprint. The stride is long (the armored man was running) but it dips into a northern side street after a block.
The infiltrator long enough to staunch his bleeding and then is like to've moved on but the trail is lost as the next cross street after a morning's worth of traffic.
GAME: Jay rolls knowledge/local: (4)+7: 11
The temples are to the north but east across the river; it's possible he ducked back around after cutting through the side street. The colosseum district is, however, north and west.
The heel of the sole is bloodied but it looks to be a similar size. The extra lip from the armor over the top isn't visible but it just may be a question of how the blood ran down his leg.
The blue jay egalrin follows along behind the dwarf and dog, occasionally hopping up to look over fences or for a longer view down the street. "I don't know this area that well, but the colosseum district is north of here, north and west. The temple district is also north of here, but to the east and across the river."
He walks backwards while he explains, "It's possible he ducked back around to head there, after cutting through the side street, but the colosseum seems more likely at this point."
GAME: Jay rolls dexterity: (10)+4: 14 <OOC> Jay doesn't trip walking down the street.
Slixvah was glad to be rid of the estate, her reaffixing her veils and shawls as a sleepy little white plumed thrush rests in the droop of one of the shawls. Watching with gold eyes as the world passes them by. It chirps twice lazily.
"I agree, Fiadh!" she coos. "I too wonder if they have a knight on payroll, because it's clear where he keeps their lance!"
She plods along, taloned feet clacking against the ground as she pets the seated bird. "Perhaps the Colosseum, blueberry. Angorites and the like enjoy such a place. And it's closer. And, mayhaps, someone there may know what this person looks like? Not many folk have their armor painted, me thinks."
Khepri studies the bootprint, while Jay gets his bearings. "...That is a possibility. If this action was not approved of by the temple, he might have gone elsewhere for healing." It looks up at the others. "The Colosseum is closer, in any case. Even with his bleeding staunched he would not want to remain on the street for long. Too many might take note of an injured priest."
Off to the Colosseum!
GAME: Slixvah rolls bird diplomacy: aliased to diplomacy+3: (16)+3+3: 22 GAME: Jay rolls diplomacy: (20)+0: 20 <OOC> Jay says, "well that's a roll." GAME: Shilde rolls diplomacy: (8)+3: 11 GAME: Khepri rolls diplomacy: (12)+1: 13
Once they reach the colosseum, the blueberry bluejay egalrin is all over the place, rushing over to warriors and interrupting them, contesting calls by judges, asking drink vendors for refills and otherwise making a lot of noise in everyone's face.
Somehow, miraculously, he isn't slapped or smacked, even 'accidentally'. Even more surprisingly, he gets some results.
Angorites are easy to find on the Colosseum district! It's actually the opposite problem: there being too many. Fortunately, a name and a rough description goes far. Boden the Angorite also has the nickname 'the Gauntlet' and is known to be a Warrior of Angoron. He's known for fighting paired with his husband, Turiau 'the Slammer,' who hits people with his shield. Best defense is good offense. A gimmick act. Turiau disappeared off the scene and Boden's appearances have become infrequent. Someone does think they saw him going into Ironbrew's pub earlier in the day.
Khepri stares blankly as Jay rushes all over. "That is... hm." It pauses, then attempts to make what it has been told is 'small talk' to a resting warrior. "We are looking for a devotee of Angoron by the name of Boden. He has red hair and green eyes." Sadly, the war golem isn't particularly skilled at doing this and seems to put off most people. In annoyance, it turns to Slixvah. "I do not understand. They seem unwilling to talk to me."
Slix takes a slower approach than that of the blue-er counterpart. She's chatting up vendors after Truefeather's flapped about in front of them. Then to fighters that haven't been harassed. She's watching Jay flit about, her chuckling to herself as she works her magic.
Eventually, she returns to reconvene outside the Colosseum with the others. "Our boo-boo maker's got a beu, which we kinda knew. One punches with a fist, another uses a shield, makes sense since like, we didn't find any bolts layin' 'round."
She shrugs once, her hugging her little tiny bird friend, who was now upside down and lazily snoozing. Fiadh chirps out once, it sounding like a tinny name, "Ironbrew..."
"Oh! Yes! Thank honey!" she coos, picking up the bird and making kissy sounds. "Ironbrew was where they were last seen slinking off to!"
Shilde's sour mood doesn't help her own contribution to sift for clues amongst the population congregating about the colosseum. She's given Rocky his leave to roam, which has met with some mixed results.. some vendors seem pleased to offer the shaggy dog small bits to eat, while others seem more inclined to chase him off with a broom. He takes both in stride, never falling too far behind or out of sight.
"He sounds like a beautiful man! 'The best defense is a good offense', that's my line! Allegedly. I'm very curious about this Turiau." Integrity says, preening his feathers into place, staring deep into Slixvah's eyes so he can examine his reflection therein. "He's almost certainly the Tarien to Boden's Angoron, and you know what that means!"
He poses with hands on hips, tall and dramatic. "'The Gaunntlet and the Slammer, though, terrible couple's name. You would have thought something like 'The Gauntlet and the Glove' or 'The Fist and the Clapback'. Still, like the little Fiadh says, it's Ironbrew time!"
Only Boden was seen going into Ironbrew's. Turiau has been absent of late.
"Find one we'll find the other. Allegedy." Jay surmises.
Khepri states unequivocally, "We will go to this 'Ironbrew' establishment then." Noticing Jay, it of course completely misinterprets things. "Stop staring into her eyes, this is not the time for courting rituals. We have places to go and people to detain for questioning."
"OBJECTION!" The bluejay squawks, feathers and flapping everywhere. "It's always time for COURTING rituals."
The court is always in session.
Slixvah stares back at Jay, sky blue eyes watching as feathered brows rise slowly over time. "Yes, if we go there, could easily find both," she mentions while still staring at the bluebird.
She's about to make her own quip, then, Khepri's statement and Truefeather's objection elicits a loud and boisterous, cawing laughter from the fortune teller. She rests a hand on Jay and Khepri's shoulders each to steady herself for a spell before wiping at her eyes. "Oh, open skies, you two are rich. C'mon lovvies, we got a couple to shake down."
Shilde gives a short, sharp whistle to get Rocky's attention.. the dog's ears perk up, then he lopes on after his dwarf's heels as she follows the bird people.
Steel Von IronBrew's
IronBrew's (or 'Steel von IronBrew's' in full) is built right up against the Arena with bricked-up windows and a reputation for a boisterous crowd that rivals the Ox. By virtue of a nod to Tarien, however, most brawls seem to resolve without lasting harm or an abundance of ill will. It's all in the name of a good time!
So close to the amphitheatre every score, every victory, shakes the walls with the often thund'rous responses of the crowd. The tavern here is large and domed and the tables are nailed to the floor. Or welded. The furniture is thick and heavy. The food, though, changes every week or so to something odd, unusual, or fickle, and the small stage here is the most oft-used outside of the theatre district.
This as much as anything is the tavern's calling-card, as well as the stories told that by tradition, only become grander with the retelling. An aged half-sildanyari, her shoulders scarred as much as her face, oversees the bar and it's said she's never cracked a smile in thirty years.
The crowd is thin today and the small stage is being patched and repaired by two gobbers and a gnome after a not-too-long-ago brawl.
There is hesitation in the Blue Jay's step as he approaches the Steel von IronBrew pub. He walks a little slower, his feathers fluff up. He opens the door to politely usher the others in, Khepri, Shilde, her dog Rocky. He hops from foot to foot before slipping in before Slixvah. "Watch out for trays."
He sounds nervous. His head moves as he glances at the bricked over windows, the thick and heavy furniture. Flick, flick, flick, his beak is pointing everywhere at things that might be dangerous. Finally settling on the stage.
This is not the bar exam he was expecting. Still, the elderly half-sildanyari is comforting in a way. She reminds him of a hanging judge he used to know, and after his experiences in Blar he knows just what to do. Fluffing up and flaping over, he bows. "Hello your honour, Integrity C Truefeather, Esquire, at your service. The 'C' is for compliments. Compliments is my middle name. I love what you've done with the place. You know what would improve it, you should smile. The wrinkles would add the perfect amount of gravitas and really light up the place."
Khepri kind of stares after Jay as the egalrin tries to butter up the bartender. Then it looks at Shilde and Slixvah in confusion. "...What is he trying to do?" The golem seems completely perplexed at the weird tack Jay is taking conversationally.
Lacking any better ideas, though, Khepri walks toward the stage to watch the gobbers and gnome working, yellow eyes glowing as it studies the repairs being made.
Slixvah slides into the establishment with eyes wide in interest. "Now this looks like a right fun place to hang..." she comments idly. Which, such comment makes Fiadh twist once and vanish into one of the many shawls on the woman. Not her problem. She nods politely towards Jay. "Thanks, blue," she hums.
Which, such thanks is soon followed by a snicker hidden by veil and hand. "His best," she replies to Khepri before they walk off. Slix joins the bluejay at the bar.
"Hey hon," she simply greets to the half-sil, her glancing to Blueberry.
There's a tiny cough from out of sight behind the bar and the sound of determined footfalls. A flamboyant gnome in greens-and-oranges and splashed with suds walks around and into view, standing next to Jay and looking up at him.
"Welcome to IronBrew's, Integrity! Want to hear a joke?" Wonders the gnome with a conspiratorial smile. "I forget the setup but here's the punchline:" and then he slaps the egalrin but-good between his legs. "Don't tell her to smile," he wags a finger and then stomps off towards the kitchens.
Shilde, one hand upon Rocky's shoulders to keep him close, stares for a moment after Jay.. not exactly slackjawed, but certainly moderately flabbergasted. Then she gives her head a shake, as much an expression of bewilderment in response to Khepri as it is an attempt to get her focus back. "Better him than me," is all she can offer. And then, "Feels stuffy in here."
CHIRP! The blue jay goes down.
The half-elf just looks on impassively, watching the gnome go. A muted sigh and she's folding an arm to lean onto the bar. "No one ever sees that coming..." she oberves.
A tight nod is given to Slixvah then a glance to Khepri and Shilde in turn. "Get ya something?"
"I'd like some ice." Come a squawk from the floor, "or a bag of peas. Or a steak. A steak and peas."
Khepri tilts its head quizzically as Jay falls over from the slap. "This seems an unusual method to collect information," it remarks, as it stalks over to the bar and peers down at Jay. "Is this a typical questioning technique among egalrin, or is it your specialty?" A pause. "I am unfamiliar with civil court proceedings. Perhaps this is common practice."
Slixvah winces and hisses. "Ow... right in the eggs..." she murmurs, one wing unfolding some to rest against the downed bluejay.
"Hey sugar. Don't mind him. Guess I could get a few brewskies, probably some ice too for-"
She glances down to Jay's squawking.
"-Some ice or frozen peas. And ah, was wondering. Was looking for the Gauntlet if you've seen 'em around? Bit of a fan."
She looks over to Khepri and shakes her head. "I think his court is out of session right now."
"You'll be fine, bluebird. He's only got short arms with a little juice," the half-elf consoles Integrity. The gnome's 'I HEARD THAT!' spills out from the kitchen. The trio at the stage continue to replace wooden planks as the barkeep turns to start pouring pints. "Hah, ice. This look like the Fernwood?" It's a humorless laugh. Really, she just said 'hah' because that's what people do. Still no smile.
"'The Gauntlet?' Boden was in earlier, had a drink with a shifty-looking gnome." She turns and sets four mugs down from one hand. "I guess just 'gnome' is enough; they all look shifty." She glances at her partner's back then back down at Jay's writhing. "Pretty sure they left together."
Khepri headtilts once again. Then it looks at Slixvah. "That does not sound like Boden's 'beau'. Or am I mistaken?" The blank yellow eyes turn to the bartender. "Did they mention where they might be going?" The golem makes absolutely no movement to pick up a mug. It's entirely possible it doesn't know it's being served anything.
Shilde is quick to scoop up the mug Khepri ignores... it's a crime to see good drink go to waste. Though her expression after she finishes a good, hearty draw from it might put the lie to the word good. In her opinion. Still, she doesn't put the mug back. Rocky takes the moment of distraction to step away from Shilde.. immediately moving to Jay's side to sniff around the felled egalrin. Possibly checking to see if he's alright. Possibly checking to see if he's dead and ready to be eaten.
"He makes up for it with good aim." A high pitched retort comes from the floor, followed by some awkward flailing as the Eglarin pulls himself up, using Rocky to steady himself. The dog gets several more pets.
He's not dead, he was just resting up after a particularly vigorous squawk. "There's usually a Bailiff, and no one sneaking around the well."
His hands transfer from dog to chair, and he's holding himself up with that.
Slixvah scoops up her drink and works on getting it down as some coinage slides over to pay. "Pretty sure that lad was the baliff, blueberry," she winks before nodding towards the barkeep.
Khepri asked the question that was most important. She just pats Jay on the arm, and slides the last drink over towards him.
"Entirely possible they did," the scarred woman answers Khepri. She slides the coins across the bar into a waiting palm, inspects them, and drops them into a drawer on the backside of the bar.
"He does." She agrees with Jay, folding her arms. "Be glad he wasn't playing darts when you set him off..."
GAME: Khepri rolls sense motive: (5)+5: 10 (Fail to pick up entirely unsubtle hint)
Khepri kind of just stares at the bartender, as if waiting for the rest of it. Clearly, it's not accustomed to 'actually offering something for information'. Puzzled, it looks at Jay and Slixvah for some kind of advice.
Rocky's good deed for the day done, he starts to wander.
Shilde takes a moment to decide if it's worth going after him, takes another swallow.. then decides to let him be as she watches the exchange between the aging woman and the bird construct. Then she sighs. Reaching into one of her pouches, she pulls out some coins of her own and places them on the counter. Only fair. Someone else paid for the drinks.
Slixvah hums to herself, her glancing to Shilde and nodding once in approval. "And where could they have possibly gone to? Allegedly, of course," she coos, finishing her drink. She pushes her empty mug forward, which slides the placed coins over towards the half-sil.
The bluejay looks at the drink. He remains standing and shifting his weight, unwilling to sit, or unable to comfortably sit. He takes the mug and holds it low, where Rocky can lap at it. The good doggo should be rewarded for his retriever instincts. He makes a clacking noise with his beak to attract the dog back.
"... talked about taking a wagon 'to the crossroads,'" the half-elf grunts. The coins disappear into a pocket and she goes back to folding her arms. "This seemed like personal business; probably not the best place for 'fans.'" She doesn't sound like she particularly believes the quartet are.
"Bo's been having a rough time with Turiau. Doubt he's in the mood for visitors..." She considers Jay at length, "'little love-tap will be the least of your worries if you're not careful."
Slixvah blankly stares at Truefeather before shaking her head. "Integrity...," she murmurs a bit firmly, elbowing him.
She saves face and turns to the half-sil. "Of course, honey, we're nothing /but/ careful. We- I appreciate your hospitality."
A glance to Integrity. She clears her throat.
"Thanks again!"
Shilde finishes the last of the mug, giving an exaggerated smack of her lips before sliding the empty vessel back on to the counter top. She offers the half-sil a nod in acknowledgement of the information granted.. and the warning offered. Then she barks out, "oi!" to get her dog's attention, then she and him make their way back outside.
The blue jay tips the rest the mug of beer out on the floor, then sets the empty back on top. He turns and heads outside, with a flick of his wing that is part salute, and part just a flick.
Slixvah cringes as the liquid hits the ground. She wordlessly rifles around her pouch, puts a few more silvers on the counter, and follows out with a wave of her wing. Best to just leave the situation as is.
She intones to Jay along the way as they depart. "Integrity, sugar, blueberry, sweetie. I know you're an excitable little humming bird. But gotta tell you honey, this gig you doin'? Kinda sorta /makin' us birds look bad/. 'aight?" <Auran>
The sound of the half-elf taking a slow, deep breath follows the group out of IronBrew's. Might be best to avoid that place for awhile!
The streets of the colosseum district as much as you left them before heading inside. Thin traffic and a few scattered crowds lingering or gathering after various holy services of the day.
The sky is blue and bright with a few fair-weather clouds drifting lazily. It's warm and there's the occasional cool breeze from down off the mountain.
The Crossroads
GAME: Slixvah rolls bird diplomacy: aliased to diplomacy+3: (10)+3+3: 16 GAME: Khepri rolls diplomacy: (18)+1: 19 GAME: Shilde rolls diplomacy: (9)+3: 12
"Hey, we've been hired been hired by a local crime boss to investigate the theft of an unusual artifact which is the key to his fortunes and strange family legacy by a desperate cleric seeking to cure his lover." There's a lot of sudden chirping and squawking from the blue jay, "The right thing to do is turn this over to the Bone Heads and God Botherers let them bash their way to the truth, so we aren't caught up in something illegal." <Auran>
"In Blar that gets a laugh, me asking someone to smile." He clack-clacks his beak again. "Didn't realize Alexandrians were so insecure. Or gnomes and sildanyari have some weird foreplay."
He walks awkwardly all the way to the crossroads and is struck by the spirit of the stagecoach. It's like the spirit of the stairway, except it happens when things go sideways or one watches a carriage pass by. "Should have offered pro bono representation for anyone wanting to make a slip and fall claim." He folds his wings and stands there, shifting his weight from side to side and looking around.
GAME: Khepri rolls survival+1: (4)+8+1: 13 (Aid Another - Success) GAME: Jay rolls survival: (9)+3: 12 (Aid Another - Success) GAME: Shilde rolls survival+2: (4)+13+2+2: 21 (+2 Khepri, +2 Jay)
'The crossroads' isn't quite specific enough to get you where you want to go. There are no shortage of crossroads in Alexandria and Alexandros beyond. With a description of Boden (along with the man's name) and the information that he's in a wagon with a gnome, Khepri and Slixvah are able to follow their path from the arena to the Phoenix Gates.
The guardsmen confirm the pair riding a wagon drawn by four ponies out of the city along with a sickly giantborn in the bed of the wagon being seen to by a hooded fatman in browns and yellows.
Jay provides key help keeping Shilde on the trail; the earthen road is nice and soft this time of year but there's also a great deal of traffic moving through the gates on any given day. The Khazadi druid almost keys to the wrong path before the egalrin makes note that the cart in question is being drawn by a team of two-- not four! The pair work together and find the correct wagon and the going gets.
It's roughly two miles out of the city and the going is slow. The wagon turns off the main road early and winds through the countryside on its way to the 'crossroads.' The group passes a lot of 'crossroads.'
Trees fresh with spring growth encroach on the hilly wilderness. Bushes with dark green leaves grow wild. The road is wet enough to classify as 'muddy' and puddles gather in deeper trenches. Farm buildings and fields dot the land in every direction.
Westward bound you see the signpost ahead. Through the trees and brush a wagon stopped, too, with four ponies yoked. A thin black trail of smoke rises into the air behind the wagon.
Khepri hunches over a little, peering out at the wagon stopped just beyond the signpost. "Curious." It turns to look at the others. "I am concerned. If this man's husband is ill, why not seek assistance from his temple? Why leave the city entirely?" Its fingers drum on the pommel of its heavy khopesh. "There is something very wrong here."
"Sugar, I ain't talking about what's right or wrong. I'd rather turn around and beat the Goldbell lad with the stick up his arse and let him loose his family bells," Slixvah chirps and chitters back at him, her both sighing as well as affixing him with a firm expression. "I'm talkin' about presentation, honey. Let me tell you, as an once-diplomat, getting folks pissed off everywhere you go leads to no bridges to run back on. And of my entire time in this here city and /Blar/, I have met /one/ Egalrin. You. So, do note that what you do reflects on /both/ of us." <Auran>
She adjusts her veils. And her chirps turn to proper Trade. "So please think twice is all I'm askin' of you, blueberry," she intones, putting a hand on his shoulder before fixing her robes once more as they head on further to find their quarry.
This walk starts to turn into a trek. No matter, Slixvah was used to walking long distances. From under one of the many robes, there's a whirring and clanking as the fortune teller pulls out a sizable, frilly white and brass Gyroparasol. She hums to herself, holds it over a shoulder, and treks on behind the group.
She slows some as they approach the stopped cart, her making a happy chirp in her throat as they seem to be making progress. But. "... hmm. You'd be right, shiny."
Integrity stares at Slixvah as she chirps at him, pulling in his wings. Other than point out the divergent tracks, he's rather silent all the way to the crossroads. Crossroads of the Imagination, as it's hard to find an actual road amidst all the mud and ruts.
"Extortion. Blackmail. An intractable lover's desire. An illness the temples can't cure but some charlatan might, Allegedly. Lots of reasons and leverage could explain it, or maybe Boden thinks the rules don't apply to him." The blue jay opines. A talon clenches, pulling up some of the mud.
"Well it was stolen once, allegedly, maybe it can be stolen again." The egalrin steps close to a tree, "Unless you want to talk with them, or a distraction."
He doesn't meet Slixvah's eyes.
The trip through the streets and out into the outskirts of the city keep most of Shilde's attention.. picking up the tracks outside once the dirt is more obliging to offering up the trail to be followed and then making sense of the traffic keeps her from joining overly much in the travelling banter. In fact, aside from thanking Jay and Khepri for helping re-find the tracks when she loses them, she's mostly silent. Rocky, on the other hand, seems torm between rushing out into the grasses and bushes and trees, free from the city at last, and trailing close to Jay, his new best friend.. in hopes he might get more offerings.
And then, eventually, the wagon and what appears to be a small campsite come into view. Shilde pauses, regarding it from the distance through the trees, scowling. "Probably don't want to just barge in on them, aye."
GAME: Jay rolls stealth: (17)+9: 26 GAME: Jay rolls perception: (5)+12: 17 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+10: (15)+10: 25 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (15)+8: 23 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+6: (19)+6: 25 <OOC> Shilde turns into a medium sized cat, leopard is on the table. +4 in undergrowth. GAME: Shilde rolls stealth: (15)+6+4+1: 26 (+4 Leopard, +1 no ACP) GAME: Shilde rolls perception: (6)+11: 17
For all the blue jay's attention seeking behaviour, he can be quiet and unnoticed. It's startling just how much. He tucks in his wings, adjusts his leathers, and the despite his bold white, black and blue patterns he's suddenly easily overlooked. The black becoming shadows, the blue, seeming more like a shaded dark green. The white, snow, or a glare of light.
He moves from tree, to bush, indirectly approaching the wagons. Closer, closer, increasingly harder to see.
Shilde grabs Rocky briefly, putting a finger to her lips, then telling him, "Protect," as she gestures towards Slixvah and Khepri. Then she steps away from him, rolling her neck a few times, lacing her fingers in front of her and stretching her arms. And then, in an odd display of half-bluring, half-melting and reforming, a dark furred cat, only a little smaller than Rocky, stands in her place. She paces in a circle once, then twice, then sets off after Jay, prowling close to him, approaching the campsite.
Slixvah takes a breath as Blue slips into the underbrush, and she closes her eyes with a soft sigh. Giving him a chance. "When they get back, I was thinking we could just walk up and chat if things are all hunky dory," she says to Khepri while one hand is occupied petting the doggo.
The pair skulk off, crossing through the undergrowth to the east of the camp to head wide of it north. They cross the road with the horses and wagons between them and then head back to the south and into the copse of trees and bushes. The going is slow through the flora but it offers some cover.
Both can see the three men sitting around a low fire. The gnome is closest with his spiky yellow hair and unkind, dark-red eyes. He's rattling off something about 'ritual at midnight.' He's thumbing through an old book with dark binding.
A large man in plated armor sits on the back of the wagon with his helmet off. His green eyes are sad and his red hair matted to his scalp. He's worrying over something in the bed of the conveyance that you cannot see.
Finally, the bulging, and foul-smelling gardener gorges on some variety of cooked meat. His mask is down to facilitate his one-man feasting and a pale, forked tongue darts out to stretch around his face and lick up stray gobbets of his meal.
There's no immediate sign of the Planar Goldbells but the gnome and armored Eldanar both wear packs and the bed of the wagon is obscured.
Khepri nods slowly in agreement with Slixvah. "I have no answers," the golem replies in its flat voice. "However, the events thus far do not bode well. I hope it is merely a misunderstanding, not a sign of something more serious." It looks to Slixvah. "It may come to blows."
Shilde doesn't say much. Can't say much. She sticks as close to Jay as she can, leaving it to him to find the best vantage point for spying. And when they do, she stays low.. doing what she can to listen in, and also keep an eye on the egalrin.
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+7: (3)+7: 10 GAME: Jay rolls sense motive: (10)+8: 18
The egalrin is listening. He's noted the concern and worry on the Angoron's face, as well as the clear threat he represents. The man's concern for something in the wagon though, is enough to tip the scales. Stealing the Golden Bells back immediately might not be the best plan, setting aside the incredible risk of such attempt.
It's the gardener and the gnome though. The gardener confirms it was an inside job, even if he's the outside keeper, and the gnome. The gnome might be an opportunistic charlatan, or... the greatest and most misunderstood healer of this age. Allegedly.
Integrity listens a little more, absently petting the alarmingly large cat that is beside him. Good kitty.
the gnome is very excited. Midnight can't come soon enough. He also just... doesn't seem like a nice person. The Angorite is somewhere between worry and grief. His emotional state is not great. It's also absolutely the gardener from the estate. It's possible to smell him and the reek is unforgettable.
The gardener makes grostesque eating sounds, his lips smacking messily as his peculiar, anguine tongue writhes around between bites.
The gnome is deep in study, dragging a small finger down the page of his book and muttering to himself. Many of the words are lost to the sounds of the gardener's mealtime. '--but we have them...' '--so close. Just need the moon right.' 'Finally see it done.' He's champing.
The armored human just worries in silence.
Some distance away, the bird and bird-golem wait for someone to return and report.
Jay watches some more, his hands going still. He gives the leopard who was formerly Shilde another scratch on the head, and the points back in the direction they came. He makes a circling motion, a gesture suggesting a return, and then a beak-talking motion.
The egalrin looks like he intends to remain and watch.
Kashilde does not purr. Mostly because she can't. But also because she can't decide if this treatment is humiliating or not. And since biting isn't an option... well, it is at least good for grabbing her attention. She looks up as Jay gestures to return, then bobs her head in a distinctly non-cat like manner before drawing away to circle back and rejoin the others.
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+18: (12)+18: 30 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+10: (15)+10: 25 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (7)+8: 15 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+6: (2)+6: 8 GAME: Shilde rolls stealth+4: (8)+7+4: 19
Shilde sticks to the underbrush initially, circling back in a prowl until she judges to be far enough away that any noise can be dismissed as standard wilderness ambiance. Then she picks up speed, returning to Slixvah and Khepri in not-quite-a-run. Another moment to shift back, and for once doesn't have to deal with Rocky expressing his joy at her return with sloppy kisses. He's too busy getting pets from his new friends. "Huff. Okay. Three've them there. Our armoured friend, th'shifty gnome bugger, and th'gardner from Goldenballs. Integrity stayed to listen.. sent me t'getcha. SOmething 'bout a ritual they got planned. Angorite doesn't seem happy t'be there.. an' something in the wagon we couldn't see."
Khepri cocks its head. "Possibly his husband." The golem ponders for a moment. "I should approach openly. There is no way I can reach them unnoticed, so there is no point in stealth. I will attempt to persuade Boden from a theological perspective that his husband would be better served by the temples rather than some strange ritual." It pauses. "I may not be successful. If he was desperate enough to steal these artifacts he may not be thinking clearly. However, I do not wish him unduly harmed."
Slix is idly twirling her parasol, her bobbing her head once the golem. "If it comes to that, I already got my cards in play, shiny," she hums.
A feathered brow raises as Kashilde returns and turns back into a dwarf. She makes an impressed sound.
She sighs, rubs her face, and straightens her wings. "The.. gardener? Well, there's the person that sold the Goldbell out. I don't like the sound of this. Give lil Slix a hot moment."
She strides a few paces back from where they came, mutters an incantation, and she returns looking... relatively the same. Though her feathers look stiffer. "I could help with that, shiny. Well, lets get up on in there, and hopefully we came back with just as many holes as we came in with."
GAME: Slixvah casts Mage Armor. Caster Level: 2 DC: 14 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+7: (1)+7: 8 (EPIC FAIL) GAME: Jay rolls sense motive: (5)+8: 13
The gnome slips up in his ramblings. To the effect of 'and when it's complete I can finally--' but he catches himself and glances at the Andorite. The armored dude hasn't noticed.
Shilde gives a nod.. hoping that that's what Jay intended. Then she makes a short, sharp gesture towards Rocky who comes padding over to her side. "Right. Let's go'n see if'n they wanna talk."
Khepri carefully unslings its shield, fastening it to its arm. It pauses, then reaches up and removes two of the small scarab charms from the dozen or so it wears around its neck, passing one to Shilde and the other to Slixvah. "May the Harpist guard you," it explains.
Shelix takes the charm, looping it onto one of the ribbons so it dangles from her wing. She chirps warmly, "Thanks hon. Opens skies."
She rolls her shoulders, looks to the two of them, and heads towards the camp.
The jay keeps watch on the campfire, intent on the gnome's rambling. Perhaps it was the punch in his smile earlier, but he's not feeling generous towards gnomes and this one seems especially suspicious. In his rambling, he lets something slip. The truth eventually comes out and it convinces the egalrin he's up to no good.
The Angoron, he's too concerned to think straight. The gardener... well he was dangerous from the start.
Despite his new understanding, Integrity is not sure what to do. The 'C' is not for 'Combat', and after Slixvah's down-dressing, perhaps not for 'Conversation' either. He's uncertain, uneasy, and if he were free to make noise he'd be fidgeting. Some sense of self-preservation keeps him still and quiet.
Slowly he reaches for the handle of his rapier... and it's stuck in its sheath again. Another tug, and he abandons the effort. A couple stress-balls find his way into his hand, and he rotates them against each other.
They are actually hunting bolas. He hasn't used them in years, beyond squeezing them. The last time he actually threw them was with his sisters.
That didn't go so well either.
Shilde accepts the charm with a grunt, and then a hesitated moment later, a nod, as she secures it to the leather cord around her neck alongside a few other tokens. A polished stone. A piece of antler. Then, with instructions to her dog to follow, she sets off to towards the campside. Making an effor to lead the other two to the side opposite from where she left Jay.
The group approaches openly, reaching the center of the crossroads before the gardener takes notice and mumbles something. His food drops to the ground and he pulls his mask back up.
The gnome responds, "Relax, I'll see them off," as the Angorite turns worriedly and drops to stand off the back of the wagon. His shining armor is punctured and smeared with blood.
After a moment's tension, the gnome stands and tucks the book under his arm, moving around to the front of the wagon. "Well met, travelers! Lovely weather for this time of year. Headed to Greppinclamb's farm? It's thattaway," he points towards the north fork of the road.
The gardener hangs back but his eyes go wide when he eventually recognizes the group.
Slixvah opens her arms wide after pulling her veil down. "Passing by! But, you see- Oh my, is that The Gauntlet?" she coos loudly, fangirling some. "I haven't seen you in many matches, sugar! Where have you been-"
She looks to the gardener. "And you're traveling with him! Oh goodness me, I didn't know you knew such famous folk!"
Twirl twirl, goes the parasol...
Shilde is not the right kind of person for this kind of deception. That's for sure. Made more complicated, of course, by the gardener recognizing them... but Slixvah puts on a good show, so Shilde does her best ambiguously helpless shrug, briefly pointing at the Egalrin as if to say, 'I'm with them.' Better than opening her mouth just now. Rocky, now that they've stopped moving, just plots his butt down on the ground, letting his tongue loll out. He doesn't have to work very hard at looking dumb.
"mmm.. 'ey wantrr, the flowersssgg..." the gardener burbles, struggling to his feet. At one point he's on his hands-and-knees and his gut hangs low enough you think it might tear loose from his body. He stands up fully as the gnome watches him impatiently, constantly side-eyeing the group at the crossroads. "mmmmhired... bymm, err. Goldbbellrp." He's holding his shovel.
The gnome turns back, his friendly expression fading, replaced by something both irritated and sinister. He sucks his teeth. He puckers his lips. He narrows his eyes. "Bo wants his man healed. We're healing his man," he states, flatly.
"Grinder is an infernalist. He made a deal with a devil three-hundred years ago: thirty lifetimes of prosperity as Goldbell, thirty Goldbell flowers." He sneers, "You're working for a man who's contracted with greater fiends..."
The Angorite hasn't looked happy since he was first espied on the back of the wagon. He still doesn't but now his chin is tucked and he watches the trio in the road as he pulls his helmet on. He doesn't speak.
"Boden of Angoron."
The voice is flat, metallic, unyielding. A voice devoid of emotional inputs, as the hulking, gangling war golem strides out of the brush. Khepri's yellow eyes fix sternly upon the priest. "Why do you dally here, Boden of Angoron? Are you not a chosen? Are the temples closed to you?"
The golem's scarab charms jangle against its breastplate, the inset crest of Vardama flashing as it stalks a little closer. "You wander in dangerous waters, if in truth there are fiends involved. But it is not too late to return to the shore."
Slixvah sighs as the ruse is up, her pulling an arm back and up to rest on her wing joint. "Now that's right complicated, shug, I admit. T'be 'onest, I don't really like the guy, he's a bit of a jerk."
Her head tilts to the side slowly, eyes watching the helmet get pulled on. "Now hold on, we ain't looking for a scrap. Lookin' to resolve this issue. I got glass bones and paper skin, unlike that poor guard that got her teeth bashed in, I'd get kil'd from one of your hits."
She looks up to the metal bird beside them. There's a consideration from his angle of the argument, and she nods in agreement, thinking a bit of pressure is a good idea.
GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (19)+5: 24 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+3: (6)+3: 9 (Anti-Bluff? this guy is that he's a gulla-bull)
Integrity freezes, his grip on the bolas subtly shifting. The truth gets out. The portraits, the number of bells, it makes sense. The glib gardener isn't fully revealed, perhaps he's the watchman for the fiend. It's not the full picture; he's heard enough to know the healing isn't above board. There's more plan in play.
It still sounds like something the guards should have handled. Contracts with fiends, definitely illegal. Once it's proven in court. He exhales, it helps when the clients don't lie to their lawyer.
A courtroom makes his heart race, an actual fight is a terrifying prospect. He saw the punch dagger and the teeth, feels an ache from earlier. That's a lot of solid armour, what can he do? Those opening arguments sounded good, maybe they will carry the day. Maybe there needs to be a bit more push.
The blue jay slinks up behind Boden and spreads a wing across his shoulders, his voice careful and friendly, "Hey man, there's more going on here than it seems. We have a different option to heal your husband that won't involve binding him to a fiend. Stay out of the fight and let us sort it out."
The Angorite looks between Khepri and Slixvah, his green eyes hard as stone through the helmet slits. It may be a trick of the light but the mask seems to flex at the set of his jaw. The plates of his gauntlet click.
... but then there's a bird behind him? He pivots-- Kor blimey that was fast!-- and snatches Jay by his narrow bird throat... but he hesitates. "... what can you do?" The desperation is obvious in his voice.
"Oh... Hell's hounds bugger me," complains the gnome. He sighs and rubs his face. "Urgle?"
The gardener gurgles his accent and hoists the shovel...
GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (13)+5: 18
- >>Bwarrk!<<
Jay reacts badly to being grabbed by the throat. His wings are everywhere, flapping hard and beating futilely against the armour as she attemps to free himself and fly away. Not that flight is in his bag of tricks. That's mostly full of paper.
"Ah! No! Ahh! No. Boden, there's.. there's.. some ritual. We have a death priest." He manages to twist free and stumbles against the wagon. The rough impact is enough to make him hop up inside it, "that guy has plans for you! You're a sacrifice, your husband is a sacrifice! Allegedly."
And now the l-eagle egalrin is on top of the love interest. Oops.
<OOC> Jinks says, "Trip (the gnome) darts forward and opens his mouth." <OOC> Jinks says, "He has needle teeth and a barbed tongue shoots out. The wound burns but Slix resists the poison." GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+7+2: (14)+7+2: 23 <OOC> Jinks says, "Fort, Slix!" GAME: Slixvah rolls fortitude: (18)+1: 19 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d4-1: (3)+-1: 2
The gnome snarls, his face twisting into something feral as he darts across the road the short distance to Slixvah. "Interlopersssss, chk!" he coughs, opening his mouth. A whiplike tongue shoots out, drawing a thin like across the bird woman that burns far more than it should...
<OOC> Khepri says, "Swift action: Judgement (Resiliency) to get DR 1/magic." <OOC> Khepri says, "Standard action: Cast Bless on Slixvah, myself, Shilde, and Rocky (sorry Jay, you're out of range)." <OOC> Khepri says, "Move action to 8,9 while drawing my khopesh." GAME: Khepri casts Bless. Caster Level: 2 DC: 14
Suddenly things are occurring and Khepri isn't totally surprised by it. What DOES surprise it is how the gnome suddenly charges. "Fall back," it instructs Slixvah, as it raises its hand, invoking the blessing of Vardama upon its nearby allies. Its armor takes on a harder sheen as well, as the golem strides forward, the elegant khopesh sweeping from its sheath. "Oblivion awaits, tainted one."
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (9)+8: 17 <OOC> Jinks says, "Urgle misses Jay with his shovel! Cuz of defense and ward and other nice things."
The obese gardener stumbles across the field, taking up the shovel in both hands and lifting it high and back over his head, arching his back. It cleaves down hard, the nose of the shovel's blade honed to a sharpened edge. It embeds itself deep into the bed of the wagon, between Jay's feet. The fat man gurgles in annoyance.
Bo, meanwhile, turns in confusion as the melee breaks out. He drops into a practiced battle stance but can't decide between the fast-talking Jaybird and the gnome he's been working with for awhile now...
<OOC> Shilde will move to 8,11, put bull's strength on Rocky. <OOC> Shilde will put bull's strength on Rocky, and then move to 7.10 <OOC> Shilde says, "Rocky will move to 6,9 and take a bite on Trip." GAME: Shilde casts Bull's Strength. Caster Level: 5 DC: 15 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+9: (16)+9: 25 (AOO on Rocky) GAME: Jinks rolls 1d4+1: (2)+1: 3 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+6: (3)+6: 9 (Rocky Fort) <OOC> Shilde says, "I'll use my reroll there" GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+6: (13)+6: 19 (Rocky Fort) GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+2+1: (1)+5+2+2+1: 11 (EPIC FAIL) (+1 from bless)
Shilde clutches at the cord round her neck as she puts a blessing upon Rocky. The dog swells a little bit, then the pair hurry to their compatriots' side at the dwarf's gesture. Like it's something he's practice, Rocky circles behind trip and nips at him.. but his eagerness to get there has him nearly trip over his own legs leaving his jaws to snap at nothign but air.
Shilde also readies her shield while she moves.
<OOC> Slixvah says, "slix will five foot behind khepri and cast shield of faith on him!" <OOC> Slixvah says, "And yell some stuff towards Jay and co." <OOC> Slixvah says, "free action let prehnsile hair out" <OOC> Jinks says, "WHO LET THE LOCKS OUT!?" GAME: Slixvah casts S1: Shield of Faith. Caster Level: 2 DC: 14 GAME: Slixvah rolls bird diplomacy: aliased to diplomacy+3: (6)+3+3: 12
Slixvah gasps and recoils as there's a burning sensation. "Ah! Ow!" A beat to process. "Of COURSE someone manipulating this poor man is a nasty little bugger themselves!" she chirps loudly, putting her parasol down to block as she shifts behind Khepri.
She puts a hand on their back. "Thanks shiny. Keep this little gnat off me, yeah? Tsya, fase..." she chants.
There's a gust of wind that passes by the Bearer of Scales, rattling his charms and making them glimmer. Looks like a few might jump in the way to for a hit.
"Blueberry!" she caws towards the cart. "Get over here! Can't help you hon if you get boxed in! And Bo! Babe! This is a fiend! Show me that strength and kick some ass!"
The gardener moves inhumanly quick. Up-close it is very clear this isn't a human but some thing wearing a human skinsuit.
GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (12)+5: 17 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+3: (15)+3: 18
"Help! Help!" Integrity squawks very loudly, jumping aside as the shovel slams down. "Ah!" He catches sight of Urgle and his eyes go even wider.
"Help! Boden! That's not even human! That's a thing, wearing a human-suit! Did you know that? It's trying to kill me! It's trying to kill Turiau."
"Sorry Turiau, I'm trying to get out of it's way." He chirps, trying not to step on the invalid that he's sharing a wagon with. Desperately, he points at the 'gardener'. "Boden! It's not human! Help me. Stop it."
<OOC> Jinks says, "Trip will give Rocky a tongue lashing and then attempt to tumble away!" GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+9: (19)+9: 28 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d4+1: (3)+1: 4 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+10: (19)+10: 29 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+6: (16)+6: 22 (Rocky Fort)
The feral gnome is being surrounded! It bends low and whips the tongue out again, scoring another light hit on Rocky's flank. Then he jumps up, spiraling through the air to land neatly some distance away. He grins a wicked grin and winks. "Just... fuck off," he waves.
GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+1: (18)+4+1: 23 GAME: Khepri rolls 1d8+2: (3)+2: 5 <OOC> Khepri says, "Swift action, switch judgement to smiting (magic)."
Khepri is completely unfazed by the monstrous gnome's threat. As it tumbles away, the golem follows. "There is no escape," Khepri intones in a cold voice. Inexorably the Executor strikes out with its khopesh, the blade ricocheting off the gnome's hide. "You are one more abomination. You will be expunged from the world." It raises its khopesh, and light suddenly flares along the blade.
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (3)+8: 11 (Shot at Jay - miss)
The gardener swings again, a surprise roundhouse swipe with the shovel that the bluejay barely ducks. It slams into the wagon, driving deep into a plank. This poor wagon isn't having a good day!
"See?" The flightly egalrin squawks, "he's trying to hit Turiau!"
GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+6+2: (15)+6+2: 23 (Disarm the gardener - Success!)
"Keep his name out of your lying face!" Boden snarls at Jay, finally keying onto the fast-talking egalrin's fibbing. Something the bird says catches his attention, though, and he looks obese gardener. A gauntlet shoots out, snagging the weapon away. "Wait!" he shouts.
<OOC> Shilde will cast frigid touch, then move to 6,7 and then cast frigid touch and try to hit Trip with it. <OOC> Rocky will then move to 4,7 and try to bite. GAME: Shilde casts Frigid Touch. Caster Level: 5 DC: 15 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+1: (3)+5+2+1: 11 <OOC> Jinks says, "Does not hit touch but you still have the spell charged." GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+2+1: (18)+5+2+2+1: 28 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+5: (4)+5: 9 <OOC> Shilde says, "Rocky and I have Tandem Trip, so he gets to roll twice, taking the better result." GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+1: (14)+5+2+1: 22 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+1: (17)+5+2+1: 25
"Get 'im, Rocy," Shilde growls as she grabs at the talisman hanging from her neck again.. this time the magic causes that hand to start glowing an icey blue. Then the pair of them rush after the not-Gnome, surrounding him. And while Trip manages to avoid being tagged by her spelled hand, Rocky manages to lock his jaws around the gnome's leg and pull him to the ground.
<OOC> Slixvah says, "move to 3,8, use fortune hex on jay" <OOC> Slixvah says, "Jay, you can roll 2 d20 and take the better one on one roll for the next round"
Slixvah squints as she hears cawing instead of clawing towards them, her seeing Trip rush off towards the wagon. She inhales. Then sighs. "Okay."
The feathers on her wings elongate and unravel behind her like unwound coils of ribbons before they begin to float in the air behind her. She rushes down the road, twirling to a stop as she points to Jay.
"Integrity C. Truefeather, the 'C' stands for Courage! C'mon pretty blue, show me what you can do!" she cheers on, the pointing finger flitting about some somatic incantation to shove some fate around.
<OOC> Jay says, "okay. Throw Bolas at Urgle. This might offer AOOs, but hopefully they'll trip him" GAME: Jay rolls weapon3: (1)+6: 7 (EPIC FAIL) GAME: Jay rolls weapon3: (12)+6: 18 GAME: Jay rolls CMB: (9)+2: 11 (Fail) <OOC> Jay says, "using my re-roll" GAME: Jay rolls CMB: (13)+2: 15 (Also Fail) GAME: Jay rolls 1d4+1: (2)+1: 3 <OOC> Jinks says, "Also seems to bounce off of him, sadly." GAME: Jay rolls bluff: (6)+5: 11
"I'm not a liar I'm a lawyer." Integrity protests, flapping out of reach of Urgle and ducking. The other egalrin's words inspires a little... something. He flings the hunting bolas. It's been a while.
They hit. They do not trip Urgle.
"Confounding arguments aren't lies, they're simply complex constructs. Did you know that was a thing in a human skin suit? Human SKIN! And that gnome isn't a gnome!"
"I won't say his name, okay, okay? I'm not hostile, allegedly!"
<OOC> Jinks says, "Alright, Trip is standing. AoO from Rocky, Shilde, and Khep." GAME: Khepri uses an AoO! 0 remaining. GAME: Khepri rolls weapon+1: (9)+0+1: 10 GAME: Slixvah rolls bird slap+1: (7)+bird slap+1: 8 <OOC> Khepri says, "+4, plus any prone bonus?" GAME: Khepri rolls 1d8+2: (3)+2: 5 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+1: (9)+5+2+1: 17 GAME: Shilde rolls 4d6: (10): 10 <OOC> Shilde says, "No save, and he's staggered for one round." GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+2+1: (16)+5+2+2+1: 26 (Rocky's AOO) GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+3+2: (1)+3+2: 6 <OOC> Jinks says, "Rocky barely breaks the skin but he feels it. Poor guy can't run away now, too, cuz of the frigidity."
The gnome snarls from his back, muttering something in an infernal tongue. It manages to struggle to its feet but the ensuing attacks leave it half-frozen and bloodied. He swoons and black, oily blood drips from its many minor cuts and scrapes.
<OOC> Khepri says, "Hmm. Swift action: change judgement to destruction. +1 sacred bonus to damage." GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+1: (19)+4+1: 24 (THREAT) GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+1: (8)+4+1: 13 (Not Confirmed) <OOC> Khepri says, "I will reroll the crit chance." GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+1: (4)+4+1: 9 GAME: Khepri rolls 1d8+3: (7)+3: 10
Khepri appears perturbed by the 'gnome's' apparent resilience. "You are not a gnome." it states flatly. It raises its khopesh, and the edge flashes with an almost audible sharpness, before stabbing down, driving into the gnome's chest. There's a sudden flicker, as the 'gnome' suddenly transforms into a tiny, yellowish-looking thing with horns and a lolling tongue, before there's a loud POP as it discorporates. "As expected."
<OOC> Jinks says, "Urgle produces his trowel and tries to stab Bo." GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (10)+8: 18 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d6+5: (3)+5: 8 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (10)+8: 18 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d4+5: (4)+5: 9
The miniature yellow creature hisses something that becomes a choked laugh. Black blood burbles from between needle fangs. "...home!" it says in the common tongue before being swallowed in flame. The earth is scorched where it disappeared.
Meanwhile, the gardener's glare drops from Jay to the armored Angorite when he's disarmed. "should'verp... been gooooddle," he chokes out, sliding an altered trowel out from under his hanging gut. He stabs straight out and up, finding a crease in the armor and drawing a new rain of blood from beneath the Warrior's suit.
"WITNESS!" Screams the Angorite, cocking back his gauntlet and punching the fat man in the face. There's a wet slap and the handkerchief falls away. The lower lip on Urgle has been torn and a grey, slimey protuberance drops into view. Wring cillia grope in the open air. The gardener's face begins to sag in as he loses some structural integrity.
<OOC> Shilde says, "Can Shilde get on to the wagon at 4,6?" <OOC> Shilde will do that then, drawing a cudgel and whacking, while Rocky moves to 2,5 to bite. GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+1: (11)+5+1: 17 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+2: (6)+2: 8 GAME: Shilde rolls rockybites+2+1: aliased to 1d20+5+2+1: (1)+5+2+1: 9 (EPIC FAIL)
"Mud and sandstone," Shilde mutters as the gnome dies. Or immolates. Or teleports. Or disappears. All the same to her right now.. though she gives the scorched ground a wide berth as she clambers up on to the wagon to join Jay. When she gets her feet, she pulls her crude looking cudgel from its loop on her belt to thwack the gardner on his squishing head while Rocky bounds around behind the unnatural man.. however, once again his excitement over all of the action causes him to nearly trip over his own legs. Must be in the middle of a growth spurt.
GAME: Slixvah rolls knowledge/the planes: (8)+7: 15
Slix's expression cheers up at seeing the fiend vanish and pop away. "Aha! Good job, shiny!"
She jogs forward with the dog, elongated feathers trailing behind her. Her hands draw across the air, about to unleash another incantation, but she spies Rocky's power and how luck just isn't on his side.
"Hey lovvies! This think's a Vermlek! Demon inside a corpse!" she caws out before one of the wings brush against his flank and then start to give him the good pets. "You're such a good doggo, aren't you? Who's a good boi?"
Meanwhile, a hand does motion gestures, pushing away the back luck that's been festering.
"Doing good, blue!" she tries to cheer him on, trying to help keep his head on straight.
"Oh! Hi!" Integrity's crest stands up. Slixvah is near! "Hey!"
The court is always in session, but the combat remains. In addition to a sudden egalring, the wagon also contains a sickly seeming jotun, an immense shield, and some sacks and bags. Without really thinking it through, Jay grabs up the door shield and leverages it over the back of the wagon to put some protection between the invalid, himself, Slixvah and... that whatever it is. "A Vermlek? A Demon inside a corpse?"
Thunk. The shield drops in place. Integrity weilding it like a boss.
<OOC> Khepri says, "Anyways, move to 3,7, cast Cure Light on Bo and offer him words of encouragement." GAME: Khepri casts Cure Light Wounds. Caster Level: 2 DC: 14 GAME: Khepri rolls 1d8+2: (7)+2: 9
Khepri disdainfully flicks its khopesh, as it glides towards Bo... but instead of striking, it touches the Angorite on the shoulder. "Peace, Warrior," it says sonorously. "This is but one more challenge. Nothing has been done that cannot be undone. Have faith, and rise to Angoron's challenge." Its spell surges out, mending the priest's wounds, restoring his vitality. "All will be well."
GAME: Slixvah uses an AoO! 0 remaining. GAME: Slixvah rolls feather slap+1+2: aliased to intelligence+BAB+1+2: (19)+3+1+1+2: 26 GAME: Slixvah rolls 1d3+4: (3)+4: 7 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (3)+8: 11 (Bo's AOO) GAME: Jay rolls melee: (10)+2: 12 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+1: (7)+5+1: 13 GAME: Shilde rolls rockybites+2+2+1: aliased to 1d20+5+2+2+1: (7)+5+2+2+1: 17 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+5: (6)+5: 11 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d20+5+2+1: (11)+5+2+1: 19 (CMB - Trip) GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+7: (19)+7: 26 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+2: (11)+2: 13 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d8+3: (1)+3: 4 GAME: Jay rolls will: (14)+3: 17
The disguised creature attempts to flee into the bushes but the dog grabs hold of his ankle and tugs! Urgle falls, crashing hard to the ground as his linen hood goes tumbling away. The head pops like a rotten pimple and one end of the extraplanar work wiggles free, flailing back and forth. Circular orifices across its entire length pucker open and closed as rotten offal slides across the greyish-white length.
"mmmlet mmeeee'rpp, go...." it complains. It chokes and coughs something out in a vile language and cold energy washes over a trio of the combatants.
Bo winces inside of his mask and turns, stunned, to consider the wagon. He growls through clenched teeth and concentrates hard. Warm light spills out from his pauldrons, filling the air with a flood of sunlight.
Wounds closed on all assembled.
Including the writhing vermlek.
<OOC> Jinks says, "Bo will Channel energy." GAME: Jinks rolls 3d6: (10): 10 GAME: Jinks damaged you for -10 points. 17 HP remaining.
"MOUNTAIN! Give us your Strength!" Boden shouts, an energy flowing from him.
<OOC> Shilde will examine the coma person, see if he needs more heals. <OOC> Shilde says, "Rocky will use the fortune hex as well. So two rolls." GAME: Shilde rolls rockybites+2+2+1: aliased to 1d20+5+2+2+1: (11)+5+2+2+1: 21 GAME: Shilde rolls rockybites+2+2+1: aliased to 1d20+5+2+2+1: (5)+5+2+2+1: 15 GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+5: (1)+5: 6 GAME: Shilde rolls heal: (6)+7: 13 <OOC> Jinks says, "There's something very wrong with them but you can't tell what at the moment. They are breathing."
With the demon-gravedigger-gardener handled, at least for the moment, Shilde shifts over on the wagon to get a better look at Bo's husband. Primarily seeing if there are any immediate wounds to deal with, but also trying to see if she can determine the deeper sickness. Meanwhile Rocky is having the time of his life. He might not exactly understand what Slixvah did, but he sure knows praise when he hears it, and even as he manages to pull Urgle down into the 'playzone' and start to gnaw and try to pull him apart like a favourite chew toy, his tail wags furiously in the knowledge that yes, he is a Good Boy.
<OOC> Slixvah will use fortune on khepri
Slixvah gags a bit as the body goes down. But she shudders and recomposes herself. "Thanks Bo!" she coos towards him as her long feathers reel back after giving a massive smack earlier.
She looks over to Khepri. "Shiny! Get this bug all done and dead!" she calls out, as her hand does more complicated gestures. More threads being pushed around. She's starting to pant some, and the 'hey, that was lucky!' feeling was starting to get rather prevalent.
<OOC> Jay says, "bang Urgle with the shield again" GAME: Jay rolls melee: (5)+2: 7
"UFFf!" Jay struggles, lifting the jotun's shield and slamming it down again. He misses, completely. Well he hits the ground. The Urgle is unscathed. "Get him Rocky!"
<OOC> Khepri says, "Step to 4,6 and express my displeasure with the vermlek. Forcefully." GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+2: (7)+4+2: 13 (+1 High Ground, +1 Bless) GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+2: (6)+4+2: 12 (+1 High Ground, +1 Bless) GAME: Khepri rolls 1d8+3: (8)+3: 11
Khepri clambers in past where Shilde was fighting the creature, and begins systematically hacking at it, the khopesh rising and falling with metronomic blows as the shining blade bites into the unholy creature's flesh. "Return to the Iron Hells. You cannot win. You cannot hide. The eyes of the Harpist are upon you, abomination, and you will be cleansed from the face of Ea." Its yellow eyes glow brightly with each strike.
<OOC> Jinks says, "OK. AoO from everyone but Shilde" GAME: Jinks rolls 1d20+8: (14)+8: 22 GAME: Jinks rolls 1d4+5: (1)+5: 6 GAME: Khepri uses an AoO! 0 remaining. GAME: Slixvah uses an AoO! 0 remaining. GAME: Shilde rolls rockybites+2+2+1: aliased to 1d20+5+2+2+1: (7)+5+2+2+1: 17 GAME: Slixvah rolls feather slap+2+1: aliased to intelligence+BAB+2+1: (2)+3+1+2+1: 9 GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+2: (20)+4+2: 26 (THREAT) GAME: Khepri rolls weapon1+2: (11)+4+2: 17 (Confirmed) GAME: Shilde rolls 1d6+5: (6)+5: 11 GAME: Khepri rolls 2d8+6: (12)+6: 18 GAME: Jay rolls melee+2: (7)+2+2: 11 GAME: Jinks rolls 2d6+3: (4)+3: 7
The body on the ground begins to tremble and convulse violently, the exposed 'head' of the creature whipping back and forth as the puckering holes open and close and froth and spit.
The flesh-suit begins to collapse in on itself and the raggedy clothes the gravedigger wore get wet with congealed blood and spittle. Earth begins to kick up and the ground shifts.
Sensing the opening, everyone takes their chance to batter and cut at the sickening creature but it's not enough to stop it. The worm all-but-consumes the skin and meat of the corpse it had ridden and dives down deep into the earth.
The vermlek has escaped.
There's another thump from the boss door shield as Jay attempts to slam the Vermlek again. He misses, in time to see it burrow into the ground. His crest flattens and he makes a confused chirp, "How... what was that... how would we stop that... allegedly? I mean... I mean..."
He looks around, at Slixvah, Shilde and Khepri, and finally peers over the edge of the shield at Boden, "Thanks? So. We've got a solution. Yes. Uh, we're going to tell you our alternate solution that... doesn't involve... that."
Shilde turns about so she can face Boden. "Fool! Y'rusted fool! Y'ne'er trust a demon! They always win!" Her cavern accent coming on thick in her ire, she almost stomps.. stopping at the last moment as she remembers the sick person in the wagon's bed. "Won't've been doin' yer hubby any favour t'all! Y'daft muscle'ead!" And then she notices Rocky who, despite the worm creature having departed, continues to 'play' in the remains of its husk. "Rocky! Stoppit!"
"Those creatures were not your friends or allies, Boden." Khepri returns its khopesh to its hip, slinging its shield. "What you have done, was done for your husband, but you risked yourself and him by consorting with such creatures." It pauses, tilting its head. "But forgiveness is also the dominion of the gods. And things can be set right."
The golem looks thoughtful. "Where are the bells? I suspect an inspection might be in order. Then we will return to Alexandria to the temples."
Slixvah's trailing ribbong feathers quickly braid together to slam down onto the burrowing creature, but ends up hitting dirt.
She pants and leans back on a foot, flowing feathers pressing against the ground so that the white and rust red Egalrin could rest at an angle with no wall. She watches Blue for a moment, with his big door-like shield and just gives him a soft chuckle.
She holds up a hand for all. "Let the man breathe, his beu is important to him, but grief makes one do strange things. Still can make this right, Mister Punchy."
"The... ah... other Vermlek, allegedly, was reading a book." The bluejay peeps up, propping the shield against the edge of the wagon. It's a bit much for him to lift back up and he doesn't want to risk dropping it on Turai.
He hops on the ground, picks up his bolas and then goes looking for the tome.
GAME: Slixvah rolls knowledge/the planes: (4)+7: 11 <OOC> Slixvah says, "ill use my reroll" GAME: Slixvah rolls knowledge/the planes: (9)+7: 16
"I..." The Angorite stops and pulls off his helmet, glaring greatswords at Khepri. "I didn't fucking know. What do you take me for? I am a Warrior! I serve the unyielding Iron Mountain!" He takes adjusts his grip on his helmet and hucks it against a tree with enough force to chip the bark and lose the shining item in the underbrush.
"The temples can't cure him! Why do you think I'm here? I found Tofscaubor when I was trying to find other methods!" He growls and backhands the lip of the wagon. After two cuts from the shovel a hunk of the vehicle goes bouncing away in a splintering explosion. "They heal him. He gets better for a few days and gets sick again."
Plates of armor clatter as the big man rolls his shoulders. "If he fucking dies..." he looks around at the assembled mercenaries.
"I have the bells," he answers after a moment catching his breath. He tilts his head back and turns his chin to indicate the pack he wears.
Jay finds the book beneath the wagon. Right where it fell when the 'gnome' was dispatched. It's old with yellowed, stiff pages and a dark leather binding. The runes inside are written with painstaking precision.
"Bah." Shilde's ire doesn't exactly fade, but she does leave off, turning away from Boden and the conversation with him in general. She glances once more at the body in the wagon, then shakes her head and climbs out to go and pull Rocky away from the gross remains of the vermlek.
Slixvah sighs, her feathers picking her up off her lean as she strides forward towards where the creature once was. "Tripurasura. Don't excuse me, I didn't sneeze," she hums. "Weird devil, read about it once. They like to corrupt magic folk so it can get stronger itself."
She glances to Bo. "Meaning, it was going to eat you to get stronger. Good thing we found you two when we did, Mister Punchy."
She blinks, then gives a soft sigh. "Sugar, we ain't blaming you. The bells can get shoved up Goldbell's rear for all I care. C'mon, let's get him and you back. I'm sure your husband would want that. Knock some heads together to see what spills on what's goin' on with him. Have to talked to the mages at the college? Maybe they know a thing," she offers, trying to be disarming.
Khepri simply doesn't react to Boden's anger. It's like cursing a wall. "Hmmm. Perhaps as if he was being reinfected." It looks at Slixvah. "I am now curious as, with the creature expunged, his husband will relapse."
The golem walks over to Boden, and holds out its hand. "Please. A question has been raised about the bells. I wish to resolve it."
There are some pretty cool diagrams in the book!
The bluejay flips through the book, quickly and reluctantly. He doesn't want to touch it and doesn't want to put it down. His eyes meet Slixvah's, as he watches Shilde step back. "Oh, they were Tripurasura? Allegedly? Do you think you'd understand this Red?"
He holds the book out towards Slixvah, then ends up setting it on the wagon instead. It's not exactly the best offering.
He retrieves Boden's helmet, picking it up with both hands and walking back. "There might be a worm inside him, a baby one of those, eating him up. A parasite that isn't purged by the healing and is hard to detect. That might be why your husband is ill."
The brawler considers Slixvah, the muscles of his jaw working as he tries to force his ire back down. He wants to keep punching things. The Warrior needs a problem he can fix with his hands.
Then, a shift: he looks at Khepri for some time before he pulls a strap over a pauldron and one arm and then repeats the process for the other. He holds it, still, and looks at the prone giantborn in the wagon. His teeth grind as he holds the pack out to the war golem.
"If he dies I'll tear the whole city down," he promises. He doesn't seem interested in Jay or Shilde but moves instead up and into the wagon to sit next to his husband. He hunches forward and wraps one gauntlet around the other.
Apparently, someone else is driving.
GAME: Shilde casts Create Water. Caster Level: 5 DC: 13
Slixvah rolls her eyes, though she can't help but have a smile to her eyes at the nickname. "Does the 'C' stand for Confused? Because there ain't to allegedly about anything. I know what I saw."
She ambles on over, takes one look at the book, and a long, ribbon-like feather folds it closed. "I'm not one for such vile literature, sugar. The only crimson I'd read is a Pen."
Then, she blinks. Slix was... impressed by Integrity's insight. "... clever. Yes. That's probably what it is. Good thinking, Blue."
She sighs slightly at Bo's declaration. "... lets not hope that happens, sugar. World's full of ways, and one of 'em has to be the right one."
She pulls herself up the wagon. "I'll drive us back."
She doesn't know how it works.
The bells are in a domed glass enclosure just like the coin and the writ, like a rose or a clock. Except it's a wrapped set of stems that look like solid fire and draped up and down the stems are 24 glowing gold bell-shaped flowers. A close look closely reveals there are six vacant stems protuding across the length.
Shilde considers the gravedigger's deflated corpse for a moment longer.. Rocky has gone off a small distance to sulk, having so quickly fallen out of good boy status. Then she turns to quietly chant, pulling forth water from the air to dump on the fire.. before kicking dirt on it for good measure.
Afterwards the druid tromps over to the front of the wagon, murmuring to the ponies as if in conversation.
"Haaha.. ha.. ha." Integrity holds the helmet tightly, it shakes. His laughter is full of nervousness, not ridicule. He is convinced the Angoron would make good on that threat, or at least make short work of him. "Good... good thing there's no guards around to hear that. If I was your lawyer I'd advise you to avoid making actionable statements in front of authority."
He holds out the helm, "Be strong for him. Be the mountain. Try your blessings again."
Khepri inclines its head to Boden, and carefully rummages through the pack with surprising delicacy before removing a small glass enclosure containing twenty-four gold bell-shaped flowers. Carefully, it holds it up to its eyes, the yellow glow brightening, before subsiding again.
"We must return to the temples at once," the golem states flatly. "I must consult with the Temple of Daeus. These items are tainted with the touch of evil." Its eyes shift to the others. "At the very least the Goldbells are guilty of consorting with the powers of darkness."
GAME: Shilde takes ten on handle animal: (10)+7: 17
Epilogue
No one attempted to stop Khepri taking those bells right to the Daeusite temple. Perhaps they all could commission a portrait of themselves handing them to the priests, as a gift to Goldbell. Maybe not.
Khepri would be of course bound to inform Grinder that he can pick up his item... at the Temple of Daeus... as there seems to be some question as to its provenance.
Khepri wouldn't want to bring back a fake. Of COURSE not. Oh no.
Some digging and speculation determine a possible explanation of what else was transpiring. The Vermlek and the Tripurasura are on opposite sides of the extraplanar evil fence but both wanted to go home after the city got sealed up. Cutting them off from more powerful agents that can plane shift or shift them back.
The Trip's idea, likely the Trip as it is more intelligent, was to get an item powerful enough to attract the attention of a some powerful entity. He'd heard the rumors about the Planar Goldbells and figured that was the thing. The Goldbells would be their ticket.
Meanwhile, the vermlek was working as a gravedigger and being a creepy gravedigger doing nasty things to dead bodies. When he exhumed Goldbell VI to have his fun he found an empty coffin.
This gave him some leverage, with which he convinced Goldbell the VII to let him use the garden for his fun. He'd make it look nice and also not risk getting caught in a public space.
Eventually, the Trip found the Verm. It was a match made in Hell. Hell's Bells, only in Alexandria.
Neither, however, could get into the sitting room because of permanencied Circle of Protection Evils. So they needed a mortal agent. Cue the Slammer entering the Gauntlet. Something like that.
It remains to be seen if Goldbell will weasel out, or if the business will be under new management again.
Chances are good that the temple will destroy the artifact. They wouldn't be too keen on keeping it. Coating it in lead and sealing it in the vaults is a close second.
The nature of the bargain is that any offspring he produced went straight to hell; AND all of his deaths would be violent and painful. When the last bell is rung, well, off to hell he goes.
Oh no. Anyways...
OOC
Map
https://www.mipui.net/app/index.html?mid=mvk8c9333yj
===================== Current Initiative Order - Round 1 ===================== ---Init--Name------------AOO-Notes-------------------------------------------- >> 24 Jay 1 << ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 19 Trip ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 17 Khepri 1 Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 16 Urgle ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 14 Bo ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 10 Shilde 1 Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 8 Slixvah 1 Flat-footed (0 rnds remaining) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ============================================================================== ===================== Current Initiative Order - Round 2 ===================== ---Init--Name------------AOO-Notes-------------------------------------------- 24 Jay 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 19 Trip 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 17 Khepri 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 16 Urgle 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 14 Bo 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ >> 10 Shilde 1 << ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 8 Slixvah 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ==============================================================================
No Diplomacy
<OOC> Jinks says, "I totally would've expected Jay to have Diplomacy. Though thinking about it I guess he fast-talks and gets himself into trouble a lot."
<OOC> Khepri has, hilariously, no diplomacy.
<OOC> Jay nods, "He deliberately doesn't have certain skills simply so it doesn't feel like I'm playing discount Cryo in the scenes she never got."
Druids are just better, and monks almost better in every way too <OOC> Slixvah oohs, money <OOC> Jinks feels the call of level 13... <OOC> Slixvah snerk <OOC> Slixvah has a decent bit to go. Less than half but still a gap <OOC> Jinks nods, "Jinks got close so I stopped pushing stuff to Bar. Want to get Bar into T2 and then everyone can go back to earning their own keep. Bob is still waaaay off." <OOC> Jay nods <OOC> Jinks says, "Deciding to focus on AC and wildshape was a dumb move to make." <OOC> Jinks says, "Bar will never have enough money." <OOC> Jay nods <OOC> Slixvah pat <OOC> Jay says, "there's a bunch of stuff you can afford around level 12 that's really useful at level 2 or 3, and not really at level 12" <OOC> Jinks says, "Similar to Pae but he doesn't wear heavy armor, at least, but so only needs one AoMF." <OOC> Jay says, "like a Ring that lets you find the nearest bar" <OOC> Slixvah says, "lol" <OOC> Slixvah says, "AoMF is stupidly expensive" <OOC> Jay nods, "The x2 cost fof Cavs is painful. <OOC> Jay says, "yes." <OOC> Jinks says, "I get it? Since it's bumping three attacks instead of just one weapon. But it still huts." <OOC> Slixvah says, "though it caps out at +5" <OOC> Slixvah says, "instead of any higher" <OOC> Slixvah says, "(total bonuses)" <OOC> Khepri says, "Sorry about silence there, had someone come in." <OOC> Jinks says, "There'll definitely be awhile where one wears the AoMF and the other gets Magic Fang, Greater." <OOC> Jay says, "yes" <OOC> Jinks says, "Cuz Bar's just a poor dwarf from a poor family." <OOC> Slixvah says, "spare him this of life of this monstrosity" <OOC> Jinks says, "It's really not a big deal but the more I think about the Titan Fists for Artificer the more it peeves my pets." <OOC> Slixvah slowly pulls up Artificer <OOC> Jay nods <OOC> Jinks says, "Just this weird frankenstein's monster of natural attack and manufactured weapon." <OOC> Jinks says, "They're two manufactured weapons that are enhanced as mfg weapon individually. But they're treated as natural attacks (primary, slam, no penalty for DW) otherwise." <OOC> Slixvah slow blink <OOC> Slixvah says, "that's just monk melee but better" <OOC> Jinks says, "Like some staffer wanted to play Vi on the MUX and made it up for themselves." <OOC> Jay says, "Vi?" <OOC> Slixvah says, "League of Legends / Arcane show" <OOC> Jinks says, "The robut hands chick from LoL." <OOC> Jay says, "oh, right." <OOC> Jay says, "I think it predates that" <OOC> Jinks says, "But, yeah, I really wanted Bob to use the warhammer skinned as a hammer or wrech but the fists are mechanically better -hands- down. heh heh heh" <OOC> Khepri says, "The problem isn't so much 'artificer is too good', it's that monks were a broken mess up till Unchained and even then they're still severely MAD." <OOC> Slixvah is so glad they use unchained monk here <OOC> Jay says, "like best class ever next to druids breaks the whole genre why isn't every important warrior a monk?" <OOC> Slixvah says, "(also my comment is related to 'wow mom lets you have two different enchantments?')" <OOC> Jinks says, "I mean, Artificer's aren't "too good." Their fist option is dumb but their AC is still shit and they have crummy HP, probabably." Jinks says, "AND they don't have enough hands for all the stuff they CAN do" <OOC> Jinks says, "And it's a conflux of things here that make all of the monks just absurdly powerful. Basically being able to get exactly the gear you want, insane point buy, and the 5min work day." <OOC> Jinks says, "It IS, however, a fucking crime that they use base Rogue but unchained monk." <OOC> Slixvah says, "god, ikr" <OOC> Jinks says, "Rogues don't even seem to be able to get dex to damage. Meanwhile Swashbucklers do." <OOC> Slixvah says, "and yeah, if aryia couldnt get Monk's robe/some other dumb crap she wouldn't be *as* stupid 1v1" <OOC> Jay nods <OOC> Khepri says, "In defense: rogue sneak attack pretty much hits everything except for a couple of critters, and flanking is fairly easy." <OOC> Slixvah says, "yeah, I know Venom (monk/rogue) was planning on doing unarmed strike with dex for damage, but learned it was base rogue" <OOC> Jinks says, "As much as I'm not thrilled about PF2e I am happy to see a lot of houserule stuff go away, stats come down to earth, etc." <OOC> Jinks says, "Rogue sneak attack is really swingy and still doesn't compare to something properly built with a 2h weapon." <OOC> Khepri says, "Now... with all due respect to staff... if we weren't going to 2E I'd be calling for a -complete- rebalance of RPP spends because some are just flat terrible." <OOC> Slixvah says, "yeah... rogue sneak attack requires a lot of setup. Meanwhile skiel over there is just obliterating stuff with as much damage as aryia does" <OOC> Jay nods <OOC> Jinks says, "I had a rogue briefly. And I would play in scenes with Azog. And he would always do, easily, 2x the damage I would do in a round." <OOC> Jay says, "Azog's builds are terrifyign" <OOC> Jay says, "it does one thing, amazingly" <OOC> Jinks says, "And rogue sneak attack is also a lot easier when you're in scenes where you're not constantly in scenes w/o maps. XD" <OOC> Jinks says, "... that was a mess." <OOC> Jay says, ".... yesssss ...." <OOC> Jinks says, "Rogues better in scenes w/maps." <OOC> Jinks says, "the gist" <OOC> Khepri says, "Very true." <OOC> Jay says, "I wondered why there weren't any, and frankly, there's no reason. Play a monk or a swash and tack on a sneak and a disable device skill and you're loads better" <OOC> Jay says, "can still do all the light armour stuff" <OOC> Slixvah gestures vaguely at *all the skill ranks* <OOC> Jinks says, "Yes, Bards ARE great, Slix." <OOC> Jay says, "Look at the class skills" <OOC> Jinks ;) <OOC> Slixvah casts Ill Omen on Jinks <OOC> Jay says, "there's not a whole lot of skills to take. I thought I could rack up all the knowledges, but no, you just get 2" <OOC> Jinks says, "Shilde just shot me a steam message and they're running a bit behind but will be on shortly. Sorry, y'all." <OOC> Jay says, "with a 17 INT and favoured class I can take all the rogue class skills." <OOC> Slixvah pat <OOC> Khepri says, "Jay, do you have the Cosmopolitan feat?" <OOC> Jay says, "No. Cryo does. It's mildly useful to her." <OOC> Jinks says, "I'll pull up the log and proxy down a quick survival so we can get rolling. Let's move the chatter to rp2, plx!"